Lesbian Academy (Girlxgirl, Lesbian)

Chapter 48. Openhearted

Chapter48. Openhearted

I've never been a drinker. It was one of the few choices I made during high school that was not dictated by my parents. While Bernadette at a young age would ask what beer tasted, I averted it like it was poison. I wasn't a fan of piss flavored drinks, and there was no need for it in my opinion. My school friends said people drink to forget. Some to remember. It puts you into that state of mind where you'd be neither here nor there, and that's what was so satisfying about it.

As much as I hated beer or anything alcoholic, I was wishing I went to the bar instead. I should have ordered a pint and drowned my confusion and sorrows alone rather than crashing in another girl's bedroom, wearing only a bathrobe. But I was hurting, and when you were in such state, you would run to the nearest thing or person who could numb it. Blue was the absinthe to my bitterness. She could make me forget.

The AC in the room was turned on. It was blowing on my spot, just inside the door. Though it was too uncomfortable, I didn't want to budge. For a while, all we did was stare at each other. It was a game of chess between us now. I had to think first or I'd be eaten alive. A touch move as how it usually went. Blue didn't form the questions with her mouth, but I knew what she was thinking. A teary-eyed girl voluntarily went in her room. I was asking for it.

Would doing it with her erase some of the hurt of what Lilith said? Would running my hands on her replace the longing I felt for another person? The best way to know was by trying, and as Blue approached me with a certain look on her face, I realized that I was afraid. Not of her. She was Blue and I considered her special. I was scared because I'd probably go through the notions because I was vulnerable. See? I should have really gone to the bar.

Blue's gaze went from my face, down to my bare feet. Normally, I'd know what she was feeling or thinking based from her expressions alone. Blue was a 'what you see is what you get' person. She'd smile if she was happy. Frown if otherwise. She wasn't complicated as Lilith in that way, and it was an admirable trait to have. Only now, I couldn't read her mind. Her eyes were dark. Her lips straight. She looked neither sympathetic nor questioning. She was just staring at me.

"I had nowhere to go," I heard myself say.

Blue responded by scooping me up with a grunt. I thought she'd throw me out like Lilith's stunt, but she put me down gently on the bed, which smelled like her already though we were recently shown to our rooms. The bed was too big for one person. I looked at the white mattress and red silk cover. "Lie down," she said. My back hit the softness. The ceiling was decorated with paintings of clouds and clear blue sky. She brushed the back of her hand on my face. "You're so beautiful." I didn't feel like that.

My mind was the dirtiest place. It was muddy, sketchy, and depressing. "Are you going to fuck me?" I said, not censoring myself for once. Her eyes narrowed. A typical response from her would be, 'I'll respect your decision, whatever it is,' or 'if you want to.' But she didn't speak. Her head tilted like she was really considering. It made me weak-kneed.

What was I so afraid of? It was Blue. She'd give me the best experience of my life. I could love her more than anyone. I grabbed her shirt and pulled her on top of me. Her eyes spoke volumes. It was as clouded as the ceiling, craving for me. I used my knee to open her legs. My reasoning has left me, putting my body on automatic mode. Whatever happened from here on was completely up to her. "Make me yours," I said. "You have my permission."

Her hands came to life, as if activated by a switch. It moved all over me, simultaneous with her lips that traced the outline of my jaw. I closed my eyes to savor it, the delicious wine that was her. She was a different kind of liquor altogether. She was sweet and intoxicating. The drink I was missing. But while she was giving me sensations that made me grab her hair and moan, she didn't go near my mouth.