The Only Reason | 5sos

58 - Heart breaker

Maya's POV

I don't think Luke is as happy with me as he was before I started taking meds. It's not that I think he doesn't love me or anything. I just kinda feel like he's uncomfortable whenever I bring them up. I guess it's okay though. It's all still new for him.

I really miss my parents today. We're getting closer to the day they died. I'm trying to be happy and forget about them but it's hard. I wish they were here to help me. My mom used to give the best advice.

"Maya? Hey?" Luke snaps his fingers in front of my face.

I flinch, "Oh sorry."

"Why're you staring at nothing with that face?"

"Oh... I was just thinking," I try to brush it off.

"What about?"

I shrug trying to play it off, "Nothing important."

"Fine okay."

"It's alright Luke. You don't have to be upset."

"I'm not. You are."

"Yeah... Okay. It's just that I miss my parents a lot. I wish they could've been here for me." I look down and play with my bracelet. I knew that it would just make him happier if I told him what was making me sad. I hate it when he's upset.

"Really Maya?" He raises his eyebrows.

"Um yeah..." My voice comes out really soft.

"Why are you still so upset about that? I mean I know you loved them but is this what the meds are about? Shouldn't you be over this?"

My eyes tear up, "W-why would you say that?"

"It's been a long time since they died Maya. You were perfectly fine six months ago. It's just kinda stupid that you need meds NOW if the sad part was years ago."

"I wasn't perfectly fine. You don't know what it's like to loose two parents!" I start crying, "And they aren't the only reason I need meds, okay?"

"Well then what is wrong with you?!"

My whole body is shaking. "I-I don't know exactly..." Truth is I do. I just don't wanna tell him. I thought he was supposed to love me.

"You don't even know what's making you sad, yet you're getting medication? Maya!"

I feel really small. Like if he said one more thing I'd die. "I-I'm gonna g-go talk to Aaron."

He makes a disgusted noise, "Oh yeah go cry to Aaron why don't you! Obviously you're more in love with him than with me."

"What? I don't love Aaron. He's my best friend. Luke, I've always loved you." I'm sad and confused and I just want this all to be over.

"Sure." He rolls his eyes, "Sure you don't love him. Well he sure as heck loves you."

"No h-he doesn't..." What is he doing? Trying to hurt me? If that's what he's doing he already completed his mission.