Unspoken Feelings

A Letter For Him

It's 9:40 pm.
And I am here in my bed, thinking.

Random thoughts passed through my mind, well it always happens everynight before I go to sleep.

But this time it's different.
I'm sorry to tell you this, but YOU are bothering me.

And then I asked myself, "Why am I still thinking about you?"

Do you even remember me? I'm sure you don't.

And I regret almost everything that I've done that cause our friendship no more.

What if's.

What if I never told anyone about it?
What if I didn't confessed to you that night?

Would you still approach me? Or message me or talk to me without feeling awkward?

These things kept on hunting me, and killing me everytime I remember you.

You were my brother way back in highschool.
You tell me things that I don't know, you even trust me in your secrets and all.

You always tell me what song I should listen, and what are the right things that I should do.

For me, your advices and your deep words were the best.
And I really love the sound of your voice especially when we're singing together and of how our voices collide. I am a big fan of yours when you're singing in front of me only.

You're my ideal man.
I've seen and I've noticed your badside.
But still, I don't mind.
For me, you are perfect. Well, almost perfect.

You fell inlove with my bestfriend.
You courted her, but she rejected you so many times.

And I was there, to listen. To tell you things that you wanna hear. I helped you to get her attention, to get her heart.
But I have done something wrong.

I fell inlove with you, shit this is wrong I know.
I will only break my own heart for loving you.

I know, I know. Yes, I really do know.
That you will never love me back the way I love you.
   
     
A year had passed.
And my friend right here is challenging me to confess to you.

NO.

I really don't want you to know.
About my feelings, and of how my heart jumps whenever I'm with you.

I always tell myself that I am willing to keep these feelings of mine, forever. Even though the exchange for this is for my heart to suffer.

But then I was being stabbed at the back, someone told you about my heart.

Then you asked me, and I answered you truthfully. Well of course, you already caught me.. So then I have no choice but to tell you the truth.

My friend, I am sorry. I fell inlove with you secretly.