Unspoken Feelings

Let Me Sleep

I'll be dead soon.
So tell me, how will you ask someone if their feelings were true without them being offended?
Or if they really care?

I have loved so many,
But I never liked someone as much as I like you.
You're everything that I ever dreamed of.
And I'm sorry.
But,
I'll be dead soon.
I'm gonna kill my soul,
And remove your toxic stares and smiles at me, the reason why I am going to end my life.
I'm sorry.
If I think killing was easy.
I'm sorry,
If you think I'm crazy.
But this is who I am.
I'm weird and suicidal.
Not physically, but yes.. my emotions are too much.
No matter how hard I try to stop it from feeling, it only makes my heart empty.
So yes, inside my mind.. I only have one thing, and it's killing.
The pain is stronger, but they say there's more that can help me.
But who is it?
I don't believe in fake news, or how my hand struggles.
I'm sorry,
If you find this annoying and creepy.
But this is me.
No one will accept my thoughts,
I have a different sight that only few will understand.
I am always all alone.
Whenever I close my eyes and shut everything including my mind,
I feel free, and at the same time I'm suffocated.
I'm living above the earth, but I'm drowning.
I can't stand having someone beside me and I don't understand why.
Maybe because of what my mind wants to believe.
And it's.. "no one really stays beside you"
I'm sorry.
I am not saying that all of you will probably leave me,
But.. that's what I feel.
Okay, I get it.
You're mad.
But I don't care.
Lemme think this way,
And I'm sorry if my brain is sick and aching.
I'm sorry, dear self.
I'm sorry if we're dying inside everyday.
I'm sorry if we're forced to smile, but no one ever tried to embrace our deepest secrets in this lifetime.
I'm sorry my dear, but I'm done with this.
Please,
Let me sleep.