In A Relationship With BaekHyun of Exo: His Fearless Sasaeng

32: Ends with a New Beginning

ERRORS AHEAD

Kim WooBin is in the Philippines and I don't even know where to find him. Golddamn it! He's just an hour away from me and gahd, I don't know but shit, gahd, I can't anymore, oh hell. Kim WooBin is just ugh. I've been waiting for this chance for three years now and I can't even go and search for him because I respect his right for vacation, but then who knows? I might go crazy and search for him. Gahd, I don't know anymore. I just love him so much like omg. AND THEY FUCKING SAID HE'LL BE HERE FOR TWO MONTHS FUCK IM GOING TO SEE HIM OMYGAHD SHIT

Enjoy this, oh my gahd.

Love you.

---

I woke up feeling groggy, the white walls and the smell of alcohol welcomed me. Fuck! I'm in the hospital again. My arm and leg is throbbing painfully. Golddamn it! I feel like resigning from my job.

The door flew open and I saw Fuck Jimin entering. He looked surprised upon seeing me awake, he came to me and asked, "How are you? Does anything hurt?"

I rolled my eyes, "I'm fine." Then I remembered how painful my lower abdomen was earlier. Fuck! "Am I shot on my abdomen?" I slightly touched it, searching for any wound but nothing hurts.

He sat next to my bed wearing this serious expression on his face, "You're pregnant--" Fuck!

Pregnant?!

It felt like my heart was ripped into two. I touched my belly. The pain was unbearable, it was fucking unbearable! Did I lose it? "Is it gone? Did the baby die?"

Fuck! I'm going to fucking kill myself if I lost it! Golddamn it! Fucking shit! What the fuck, Sora?! YOU'RE SO FUCKING CARELESS, YOU BITCH!

He held my hand tighter and it made me feel worse. I fucking knew it. But then Park Jimin gave me a smile, "The baby survived."

Fuck.

My hands flew to my face and broke down. I thought I lost it. Damn! I cried harder when Jimin embraced me like everything will be alright.

My little Byun is a fighter. I can't believe that after what happened he still survived. He's fucking fearless despite of how tiny he is.

Damn! I can't imagine my life if I lose the only person who would actually love me for real. Ugh.

After an hour, Jimin left because of he has a schedule for today. He was kind of hesitant at first but I told him that I'll be fine here. It's been a couple hours since he left but I am still here, staring at the ceiling.

It's seemed so fucking impossible to be impregnated by Byun fucking Baekhyun before but fuck it, nothing is really impossible in my life. It would've been perfect if he was beside me. It sounds better to hear "we're pregnant" rather than "I am pregnant" but then, it doesn't matter anymore. I have my little Byun now. I'll be fine with that.

Now that I remember how I've been these past months, fuck! I smoked! I skipped meals! I've been drinking alcoho—Damn! I had some spotting last week! Bullshit, Nam Sora! Bullshit! I didn't know! My menstruational cycle is irregular and I thought that it was just premenstruational bleeding!

Maybe it's not a good thing for me to have a baby after all.

I... I can't take care of this! I'm irresponsible, I'm careless, I'm full of shits! I don't know how to take care of others, golddamn it! I don't even have a fucking clue about pregancy shits! This baby, this baby needs love and I can't give that to him because even I never experienced being loved for fuck's sake! Not even from his father.