One Shots

Roses

Roses by Against the Current 

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I was used to falling asleep alone by now. It's pretty normal when your girlfriend is the Commander of an army. Before she was the commander of the twelve clans though, she was just Lexa. The girl I would walk around with and be silly with. She was and is my everything, but having her walk out and into battle is.. Worrying and heartbreaking. I fell asleep that night alone once again, but as always when she first leaves for battle there were red roses left on our dresser. I smiled and crawled into bed. Days later, she reappeared, smeared with blood and dirt, but smiling with victory. I didn't hear her walk in at first, but she pulled me into her arms from behind and smiled at me in the reflection of the mirror. "I have won you another war." She kissed my cheek, pure happiness in her eyes. "Let's get you cleaned up, warrior." I walked into our bathroom and ran a bath as she shed her armour. She sat in and thanked me quietly before looking up to me, "Join me?" She smiled up at me, scooting back. I nodded and climbed in, leaning against her in the warm water. The days she was back home were usually spent like this: Around her subjects and especially outsiders she was ruthless, heartless, merciless, and Heda. Around me, however, she was the same Lexa I had known since we started dating. The Lexa that held onto me tightly through the night, found any excuse to hold my hand, smiled into our kiss, and was there for me at my brightest and darkest moments. Weeks after the last war she sent a guard looking for me, "Heda wishes for your company on the balcony." He smiled at me and took my arm gently, leading me to her. I walked onto the balcony to find Lexa watching the stars in her armor, war paint covering her eyes. "It's a lovely night. Almost as lovely as you, (Y/N). Leave us." She nodded to the guard and he walked away quietly, "I wish to speak to you about something." She looked nervous for the first time in a very long time, "Go ahead." I looked at Lexa before kissing her quickly causing a smile to spread across her lips as she blushed. "We have been together for sometime now and I know I love you more than anything or anyone else. You are my priority and the grounder way is to believe love is weakness, but you are in fact my strength. I want to spend my forever with you by my side and I want to show everyone that you are mine and I am yours alone." She stopped and I felt my eyes tear up. Lexa hardly speaks of her emotions, but here she was pouring out her heart to me under the stars. She leaned down onto one knee, "I swear fealty to you, (Y/N) kom Trikru. Will you do me the utmost honor of marrying me and being my wife?" I paused and felt the tears start to fall down my face, "Nothing would make me happier, Lexa." She stood and smiled brighter than the stars in the sky, pulling me into her before kissing me gently. She pulled away to rest her forehead on mine and stare into my eyes. "I still remember the night we first kissed.. The night we danced under the moonlight by the water and swayed.." She whispered, holding me close with her arms around my waist. "We can have many more moments like those in the span of our forever.." I laced our fingers together, "And there's no one else I would rather spend them with.." I whispered softly. We stood outside for a while longer leaning against each other and watching the stars with the feeling that we would never grow old.That night I didn't have to sleep alone, no, I slept with my head on Lexa's chest as we talked about getting married as soon as we were possibly able. A night filled with smiles, stolen kisses, and so much love. She was taken away from me soon after by the another war. "I'm sorry that I must leave you again.." She whispered in between kisses that tasted like tears and sorrow, "You have to go.. I know.." I said back just as quietly. "I will come back to you, and we will be married as soon as I arrive. I promise." She smiled at me gently as I handed her her sword, "I love you, Lexa." She looked back at me over her shoulder before running back to hold me in her arms and kiss me one more time, "I love you more than you will ever know, (Y/N)." I waited days after that final kiss for her to come home, to have her sweep me off my feet and hold me against her with her victory smile and exhausted eyes. I watched for weeks on end as the roses on our dresser wilted and my heart began to slowly die out. I couldn't believe it. Everyone keeps telling me it will get better, but I can see even the eyes of her warriors don't shine the same as they did when led by a commander fiercer than a hurricane. I stood in the mirror and looked at myself closely. Her armor fit me well, cape gliding behind me as I walked. Her scent had left it months after it was brought to me.

"(Y/N).." The guard whispered as he made his way towards me from the entrance to Polis. He carried nothing but Lexa's armor. I felt my knees give in as I fell to the floor sobbing.

I wiped the tears out of my eyes as the started to pour down my face before sitting down at my mirror and applying my warpaint just as she used to. I grabbed one of the fresher roses from the nightstand and walked to the balcony, tossing it off gently, "Until we meet again, my love.." I whispered. I walked slowly towards my throne, sitting down on it. "Heda.." Someone said softly and I looked up, hoping and praying she would walk through that door one last time, but love is my weakness and my strength is gone.