One Shots

Lonely With Me

Lonely with Me by Parachute

TRIGGER WARNING; self harm, mentions of suicide/wanting to commit suicide. Avoid if this may trigger you in any way. Stay Strong <3

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I had been best friends with Octavia Blake since.. Well, let's just say I knew of her existence before she got locked up and because of this Bellamy also treated me like another little sister. She had been different ever since Lincoln had died. She would avoid everyone, spend long days alone, and not even talk to me. She spent most of her time out on hunts or in grounder camps, which was better than sulking in her room, but still. I missed her. I knew how lonely she was feeling and I didn't want her to. I didn't want her to feel the same loneliness that I had been feeling. I fell in love with her a long long time ago, but she didn't know that and I don't think she ever will.

"Finally it'll all be over.." I whispered, slashing deep into my wrists over and over. I just wanted it all to end. I just wanted to die and get away from all of this pain. I can't stay here knowing I'm not good enough for anyone. I can't be. I felt myself start to fade out, a whoozy smile on my face as I realized it's all going to be over. "(Y/N)?!? (Y/N) No!" Octavia screamed but her voice sounded fuzzy, almost like I was under water. She picked me up and carried me to the med bay, "No.. I want to die.. Let me die!" I sobbed into Octavia's chest. I felt her tears drip onto my face as she laid me down on the table. "Clarke! Help her.. Please.." She sobbed. She looked at me once more before running out of the ship. As Clarke was stitching me back up Octavia and Bellamy returned. I began to fade out of consciousness again, "No! She can't die!" Bellamy broke down, falling onto the floor with Octavia, both of them sobbing. I woke up and felt an immediate stinging all up my arms, looking down to see tight blood soaked bandages. Octavia lay on the floor while Bell sat in the corner, a bottle in his hand. "Why couldn't you just let me die.." I began to sob, Octavia standing up, tears in her eyes, as she lay next to me holding me close to her. "Please don't ever leave me.." The weeks after that I began distancing myself from everyone, isolating myself from all of my friends. I would spend most of the day in my room sobbing or sleeping. I would barely eat, only when Bell or O forced me too. Some nights Octavia would come lay with me, holding onto me tightly in her sleep to wake up whimpering because she had another nightmare about losing me

I had been getting worse ever since Octavia decided to be a lone wolf, but one night in full grounder gear she came and confronted me in my tent. "You're getting worse again.. Bellamy told me.." I shrugged and looked up at her blankly. She looked strong, powerful, but also scared. "I almost lost you and I don't think you understand. I can't lose you. I can't lose the one I love, not again." I nodded and she sat next to me, laying her head on my shoulder, "I've been so lonely, (Y/N)..."

"If you're gonna be lonely, be lonely with me." I whispered and she shook her head, smiling at me sadly, "Not now.. Not yet.." I nodded as she stood up, glancing at me with sadness in her eyes, "I'm sorry.." She whispered, walking away again. Even as she was walking away I couldn't help but feel how my heart was pounding when she was near me. She's the reason I keep breathing and the only reason that my heart keeps beating. Sometime later I decided to go on a food hunt mission with Clarke, Bellamy smiling after me when he saw me leaving my tent. We went wandering around the forest before I heard screaming. Before I heard Octavia's screaming. I drew the sword she had made for me from my sheathe and tried to turn. "No." Clarke growled as she put her arm in front of me, "You're not ready."

"Octavia trained me, I've been ready." I growled back. She shook her head, still holding me back, glancing at the deep, dark scars on my arms. "There's nothing you you can do that's going to keep me from getting to her. I love her, Clarke." She moved her arm in shock and I turned and ran as fast as I could. I found Octavia being attacked by a couple grounders and killed them quickly to protect her, "You called." I smirked, turning to her before my face dropped. She was badly injured. I picked her up and ran to camp, "Clarke, dropship. Now!" I screamed as I past her. She ran ahead of me and was ready to work when I laid Octavia down on the dropship. Clarke patched her up and when she awoke I was waiting there, laying in the same spot on the floor that she had been for me. She had sat up and was looking at me, "(Y/N).." She whispered weakly. I got up and sat next to her, holding her close to me, "I'm here." I whispered as she laid her head against my chest and wrapped her arms around her waist. "I was so lonely.." I nodded, remembering the previous conversation we had a few weeks prior. "If you're gonna be lonely, be lonely with me" I whispered, leaning my head against hers. She looked up at me, staring in my eyes before standing up. "I know.. Not now.. Not yet.." I stood turning to leave, "No.." She grabbed my hand, lacing our fingers together. I let her pull me closer. "I'm ready now.. If you are.." She stared up into my eyes and I smiled, wrapping my arms around her waist. "You don't ever have to worry. I'll always wait for you." She smiled, brighter than she had in months, and kissed me softly. We pulled apart quickly as Bellamy cleared his throat. He smiled at us and nodded, chuckling, "Finally. I'll see you two later." He walked back out and we turned to each other again, both blushing. "I love you, O." She grinned and kissed me again, wrapping her arms around my neck. "I love you too, (Y/N)."

"You'll never have to be lonely again.."