One Shots

Under Control

Under Control by Parachute

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't know when it happened, but I do have an idea. By "it" I mean the day I fell madly in love with Octavia Blake, someone I had barely known before our landing on Earth. I'm very guarded when it comes to emotional contact with anyone, especially romantic. I had been fucked over and fucked up on love way too much. Which is the main reason I ended up locked up and in the dropship in the first place. I had walked into camp with a few deep wounds one day. I was just out on a normal hunt but it all went to shit when a panther or something showed up. Raven helped me back to camp, me soaking her shirt and my own with blood. "Raven?! (Y/N)?!? What happened?" Octavia yelled, running over from where she stood with her back against the dropship. Her eyes were just filled with.. Fear.. and.. And love. I felt my heart melt a bit before wincing in pain, "I'm fine. Fucking hell where's the alcohol." I chuckled as I walked in and sat down in front of Clarke. "Shit, (Y/N)..." Clarke mumbled. I shrugged and pulled my shirt off, ignoring the stares from Jasper and oddly enough, Octavia. Clarke stitched me up as we talked for awhile. She was my best friend and we had been since before getting locked up. I saw the tears in her eyes as I lost consciousness a couple times. I did lose a bunch of blood. She hugged me gently after I was done and stared at me, "I cannot lose you. Understand? You're all I have left in this world." I nodded, "I know, Clarke. I love you."

"I love you too," She smiled, "Stay here and get some rest. I'll see you in the morning." I groaned, but laid back anyway. Raven said her goodbyes, Jasper awkwardly left, but Octavia lingered. "Need something?" I tried to sit up but my side started to burn so I laid back down, defeated. "Just lay down and get some sleep."

"I don't sleep." I shook my head, laughing sadly. "Nightmares?" She questioned. I looked up at her, staring into her eyes. I knew right then, all I wanted was Octavia Blake. "Yeah.." I whispered weakly, fearing that she would see my vulnerability. "Scoot over." She crossed her arms and I stared up at her, "Scoot." She said once more. I shuffled over and she laid next to me, pulling the blanket Clarke handed me over us. "I'll stay here with you tonight and you can wake me up if you have any nightmares, alright?" I nodded. She moved closer to me and laid her head down on my chest, wrapping an arm around my waist and closing her eyes, "Night, (Y/N)."

"Goodnight, Octavia." That night was one of the first that Octavia and I had shared more than a passing glance or small talk and it brought us closer than ever, but also started to make my feelings for her develop. I tried multiple times after this to explain to her how I felt but she always had to go or was busy or.. Or I just chickened out. I was scared of how she would respond or react because we became so close I knew I couldn't lose her. All I wanted to do was give up, give in, and let her go. Just settle for being her friend. Here we were laying on my bed, and here I was wishing that I could just hold her in my arms and call her mine. "Is Earth everything you thought it would be?" We had been having rather deep conversations about life and earth and the past, present, and future. It was normal for us. "No, it's way better than I imagined. It's.. It's beautiful. I love it here. I love being able to explore and see all of the sights and nature." Her smile was bright and warm. "I love you.." I meant to think this in my head, I really did, but I heard the faint whisper come out of my lips and I couldn't stop it then. Octavia's eyes widened and she rolled onto her side and looked at me, "You.. What?" I stood up and started to stutter slightly, "I.. I u-uh nothing.. I have to g-g-go." I ran out of the tent and even out of the camp. I kept running until I found myself at an old grounder post a while aways from camp. It had been abandoned for awhile so it wasn't dangerous, but my mind was racing so even if it was it wouldn't have mattered. "If she feels the same.. She'll.. She will come find me and tell me." The hours passed and I began to lose hope until I felt someone hug me from behind, "You scared the hell out of me." Octavia whispered, face buried in the back of my shoulder blade, shaking. Whether it was from fear or the slight chill in the air I wasn't so sure. "Octavia, I'm sorry. But you have to know this. All I want is you. I fell for you and I love you. I wish I could've planned this out better or at least waited until I had the courage. I love you, Octavia Blake and I can't live withou-" She cut me off by pressing her lips against mine and pushing my back up against a table. I felt her arms wrap around my neck as mine went around her waist and I pulled her closer to me as we kissed. She pulled back, voice barely a whisper and a wide smile on her face, "You never really gave me the chance to answer. (Y/N), I love you too."