Mind over Matter ↠ Elijah Mikaelson

31

I can never forgive you

Elijah had stormed into his own room. His thoughts running away as he tried to conceal the mix of emotions that bubbled inside of him.

It wasn't exactly the end of an era; that ended when he pulled her heart out. But part of him was convinced once she had gotten past this silent phase, they both would go back to the way they used to be. How could he be so foolish? He killed her. How could he even expect her to forgive him? After all he had done to her, Elijah was lucky to have her presence.

That does take its toll, a lifelong one that effects both of them. Elijah held back his pain, trying not to punch a hole in the wall and scream.

He kicked his desk, sending papers flying over the room and slowly floating down to the floor. Elijah paced the room, his hand covering his mouth, amplifying the deep breaths he needed to take in.

"Elijah" Hayley's small voice came from the crack in the door. Obviously, he wasn't being quiet about it all and someone must have heard something. "Is everything okay?"

Elijah looked away; his eyes glowing red with the entrapment of tears. He didn't want anybody to see, but he couldn't stop himself; he was on the edge of a complete melt down.

Hayley shut the door behind her and walked up to him, standing just behind him. She knew he was crying; her hybrid senses could pick up his aura. "You can tell me" she assured him, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear and biting her lip. The mere presence of him made her nervous, especially when they were alone. The two had history, not as much as him and Marianne, but they still had a spark. A spark that shone bright when Elijah fell into darkness.

Elijah threw caution into the wind and turned around, showing Hayley the worry lines on his face, his red eyes, his damp cheeks and glum expression. She would have found out sooner or later, and she wouldn't have left without an answer as to why Elijah's work was all over the floor.

Elijah dropped to his knees, the force he hit the floor with was enough to break bones. But he wasn't human so he was unaffected.

"She isn't going to forgive me" he murmured, not directing it at Hayley, but as if to tell himself, to make himself come to the realisation.

"What?" Hayley couldn't hear his mutterings. She looked down as Elijah stared into complete nothingness.

He shot his head up to look at the hybrid. "I killed her and she is never going to forgive me" he summed up the whole story into one heartbreaking sentence.

It was bad that he still had knots in his stomach whenever he thought of, saw or was around her. And now to think Marianne has verbally confirmed that they will never be anything more than alliances, maybe friends. It was just too unbearable to think about.

"Elijah, I'm sorry" Hayley walked up and hugged him, her arms draping around his shoulders as his cheek touched the top of her hip.

Hayley dropped to her knees so she was level with Elijah. She placed her hand on each side of his face to stop him from looking away "I know it hurts now" she kept him still as he went to stand up and walk away "the pain will pass; it just takes time"

Elijah relaxed "I have had a thousand years worth of healing; but somehow this wound has never closed"

"And now you have closure" Hayley replied "you know, even though you two aren't the same, she is okay, and she is alive. You can finally move on, you can give yourself to someone that appreciates you"

"Who would appreciate a monster like me?" Elijah asked, he could barely look at himself.

Hayley felt a small bit of anger rise as the thought of Marianne leaving him like this clouded her mind. Of course Hayley wanted Elijah for herself, but she wouldn't see him this... Broken.

"Me" Hayley just burst out with it. She had wanted to tell him how she felt for a while now, but those two letters, that one word just told him enough for now.

He needed those words. He did not need another thing to make Elijah more at risk, he didn't need a relationship. But what he did need was a moment or two of complete nothingness, something he can divulge himself into to stop his mind from going over Marianne.

If it was any other time, he'd choose something less complicated. He could pour himself into his work, trying to make the city run smoother.

But Hayley was right there, her hands on his shoulders, his hands now resting on her hips. And without a single thought towards the consequence of his actions; his lips had pressed on hers in a very urgent manner, inhaling loudly at every opportunity they had been given.

Elijah pulled Hayley's shirt over her head before she worked her hands around the buttons of his stained shirt. Each taking it in turns until most articles of clothing lay in a messy pile on the floor.

Elijah broke off; standing up to lift Hayley, spinning her around and pushing her onto the bed, ascending upon her to remove the leftover clothing that draped on her skin.

And for those next few moments or so, Marianne had slipped his mind.