OC Reviews [now closed bc of personal issues]

Lilyfrost | Warriors | [ C- ]

OC made by: @WishforWillow

Fandom: Warrior cats

Name: Lilyfrost (Lily for her mother's littermate, Lilyfur who drowned 4 moons before Lilyfrost was born, and Frost for her hunting skills, [She took her hunting assessment during leafbare]

Good that her name has meaning!

Clan: MountainClan

Original clan, very nice!!

Rank: Warrior/Queen

Gender: She-cat

Age: 89 moons [At death]

I've never seen age written like this before, but I actually think it's a good idea.

Appearance: Light grey she-cat with hazel eyes, and white ear-tips

Simple is good.

Personality: Friendly, out-going she-cat, makes friends easily, but first impressions matter a lot to her and she will always be honest with you, even if its something you don't want to hear.

All the traits fit together nicely, and the part about the importance of first impression to her is unique and interesting!

Family: Heatherfern (Mother) Pinefur (Father) Ravenkit, (Littermate, died at birth, male) and Featherlight (Littermate, female) Honeydrop (kit) Oakleaf, Fern and Ivy (kits)

Aw, her poor littermate.

Crush/Mate: Tiger (Mate)

Great that Tiger is an original character as well!

Backstory:

Lilyfrost was born to Heatherfern and Pinefur, along with her littermates, Ravenkit, who sadly died shortly after birth, and Featherlight. When she became a warrior , her mother was found dead outside camp, which upset Lilyfrost, and she later ran away from camp. She met a loner, Tiger, who she later fell in love with. She lived with him for 2 moons, and eventually bore his kits, Honeykit, Oakkit and Ivy, who died of greencough before she went back to the clan, but when she did, when Honey and Oak were 8 moons, and she was expecting another litter, Tiger was hit by a monster on the thunderpath. She went back, and soon gave birth to another kit, Fern. She then later retired and died of old age at 89 moons, watching as Honeykit, Oak-kit and Fernkit became Fernheart, Honeydrop and Oakfur.

I like how she meets Tiger. It's common for kits to die in Warriors, but that does make sense. How sad. I like how you talked about her death and Tiger's death (aw, she has so much misfortune ;-;) which is something most of the characters in Warriors get sooner or later.

LOOKS:

Fernheart: Tan-colored she-cat with emerald-green eyes and a white paw.

Honeydrop: Orange she-cat with brilliant aqua-blue eyes.

Oakfur: Brown-black tom with brown eyes and a white mark along his flank.

Ivy: Grey she-cat, her eye color was never known (She died before she opened her eyes)

Kestrelsong (Her mentor) : Light brown tom with blue eyes.

Tiger: Grey tabby with brown stripes, making him look similar to a tiger, inspiring his name.

This character was pretty original, with barely any unnecessary Mary Sue traits as far as Warriors go. On the other hand, the character wasn't really all that interesting. Her life didn't really have any events that made me want to read more about her other than her running away from her camp and meeting Tiger. Maybe add something with a more adventurous feel, like maybe she and Tiger got lost and went on an adventure together which was one of the reasons they fell in love and had kits? With a more exciting story, this oc could be perfect with an original personality and backstory.

Sue rating: 5%

Originality Rating: 95%

Interest Grade: C-