OC Reviews [now closed bc of personal issues]

Lily Glow | MLP | [ D ]

OC made by: sparkle123tt

Fandom: mlp

Name: Lily Glow

Lily Glow sounds kinda cliché and sugarcoated, but every mlp name does.

Age: same as the cmc

Nope.

Gender: Female

Species: unicorn

Description: white fur, light pink mane, and yellow eyes. Cutie mark of a pink lily inside of a glowing sun.

Cute and fits with her name!

Personality: extremely caring, kind and a bit on the shy side, super accepting to everyone and an all around sweet heart.

So, Fluttershy?

Likes: caring for both animals and ponies alike, watching the stars at night, singing, hanging out with discord, the cmc, fluttershy and starlight.

The animal and discord thing goes back to Fluttershy.

Dislikes: bullies, people who judge others on appearances or past mistakes alone, when anyone or anything is in pain, disappointing her friends, not being good enough for her friends, being a bit of a doormat(though her friends are helping her with that), mistreatment of animals and ponies, parties, when she has the center of attention and the spotlight is on her. Her strange yellow eyes.

Most of these things are what most people (and ponies) don't like, and it's not really needed to be included. Also pain can fit into mistreatment, so you can just shorten it down to that. The only thing that isn't natural for most people (and ponies) is her not liking parties.

Strengths: she is loving and kind. She has healing magic that is extremely strong, she is friends with the cmc, her mentor of the mane six is fluttershy, she is good friends with and admires, discord, luna, and starlight glimmer. (Trixie hasn't met her).

The fact that she has "extremely strong healing magic" and has this much contact with main characters is not good. These strengths are not matched with the weaknesses, which is a common mistake, making the character "mary sueish".

Weakness: she's not very good at making friends because she's shy and doesn't like to go to many parties. Diamond tiara and silverspoon pick on her and constantly tell her that she has equestrias most worthless destiny. She often falls short to peer pressure and is a bit naive at times.

The traits of her shyness are portrayed nicely, and is a good weakness! But Diamond Tiara and Silverspoon bullying her is so overused it hurts.

Backstory: her parents got sick with an incurable disease and lily glow cared for them and tried to help however she could. They died soon after from that sickness leaving lily glow all alone. She moved from canterlot to live with her parents old student twilight sparkle. When twilight heard that her old professors from when she was still in canterlot passed away leaving a filly behind twilight took it upon herself to take the unicorn in. Celestia had supported the idea thinking it would be a good lesson of friendship for twilight. Taking care of a simple filly could help her learn to better take care of equestria. She enrolled in miss cherolee's class and the cmc were her first real friends because she had none in canterlot because she had put all her time and energy caring for her parents. She befriended fluttershy and they bonded over their love for animals. Discord took a quick liking to the girl because she always giggled at his antics and that made him feel good. Starlight likes lily glow because she likes her faults and all.

Parents getting sick and dying is VERY overused. However I like that her parents death inspires her to want to learn how to heal others with magic. And though her being taught by Twilight makes sense since she is so good with magic, it is also overused. And the CMC is a group of close friends, so it's hard to imagine that they would be as good of friends with her as they are with each other. Also if taking care of her parents made her not have any friends, then how long were her parents sick? Weren't there any doctors in Canterlot? And once again, having connections with that many characters is bad. But from what the backstory says, she seems to be very hardworking and determined, so those would be a good traits to add onto her personality!

Powers/abilities: healing magic, extremely strong for a filly her age. Both starlight and twilight agree that she has much promise.

Though healing magic fits her personality, the rest of this is very "mary sueish", so it is suggested that you find a way to change it! "Extremely strong for a filly her age" is just a no. Maybe use another adjective that is milder than extremely, or maybe just say she's a natural.

Crush/love interest: none at the moment

Thank golly.

Overall, this character seems to be overpowered, and keep a note that it is never good for a character to be created just to interact with other characters. And Lily Glow's connections with others are all positive ones, aside from the two characters who's roles in the show are bullies. We recommend that if you would want to fix that, find other mlp fans who are interested in making ocs to all be friends with one another instead of having her connections restricted to canon characters.

Sue Rating: 85%

Originality Rating: 15%

Interest Grade: D