OC Reviews [now closed bc of personal issues]

Silverfrost | Warriors | [ B- ]

Oc made by: jammatowm919

Fandom: Warriors

Name: SilverFrost

Age: 34 moons

Gender: Female

Mate: RainPool

Clan: IvyClan

Original clan and mate!!

Rank: Senior warrior

Backstory: was raised like a normal IvyClan kit and trained like a normal IvyClan apprentice. But as an apprentice she met AdderPaw (now AdderSong) of GrassClan, they fought for the first time and hated each other from then on. She also spent two moons with a loner named Spot when she was lost in TwoLeg territory, upon returning he joined IvyClan as an elder named SpottedPelt.

You should add more detail to her backstory, and maybe mention her parents or who raised her as well. Same goes for the whole thing with Spot. How did she end up in two leg territory? What was their relationship? Where did they stay? Though the feud with AdderSong seems interesting and not commonly used, so good job for that.

Personality: Always on the look out for enemies, especially AdderSong. Has a sweeter side once she knows she can trust you, and her trust can be very difficult to gain. Has huge soft spot for kits and was thrilled when she was blessed with her very own litter.

Nice nice, but I'm also wondering what she's like towards others before they gain her trust.

Appearance: snowy white pelt with creamy blotches. One black paw, tip of her tail is also black. Many battle scars remain quite visible on her body, mostly on her sides and back. Paws are larger than average, but not massive.

The descriptions alone are good, just not together. I admit the paw part is cool, but it confuses me on how she got 'Silver' for her prefix name if her pelt is snowy white and creamy.

Kits: IceKit (IcePaw, IceClaw), AshKit (AshPaw, AshBlaze), and JuneKit (JunePaw, JuneFur)

The only thing I would change here is the prefix 'June' for her kit, since cats refer to months as 'moons', and don't know the names for each one.

Weaknesses: afraid of swimming. Can be clumsy and forgetful at times. Easy to anger.

Good, though clumsiness isn't a flaw.

Strengths: very good at hunting, especially in the snow. Decent fighter. Very determined.

Makes sense for the suffix of her name.

Likes: squirrels, kits, climbing trees

Dislikes: water, herbs, birds

Cause of death: killed by a warrior blow dealt by AdderSong

Oh geez, rest in peace.

Overall, this character is pretty good. The main problem was really lack of detail about her. You don't exactly have to go overboard with details, though maybe at least explain a little about her relationships and her backstory. Otherwise, I'd probably enjoy reading a story with her, if portrayed nicely.

Sue Rating: 21%

Originality Rating: 79%

Interest Grade: B-