OC Reviews [now closed bc of personal issues]

Jade | Creepypasta | [ D ]

Fandom: Creepypasta

Name: Jade (because she's basically a version of me and that's my name XD)

Self-insert isn't always a good thing, especially if you give them the same name as you.

Age: around 25 or 26

At least she's not a teenager.

Gender: Female

Species: Vampire

Description: Look in my art book. She should be near the end. Those are purple eyes btw!

Personality: Cheerful, goofy, a bit yandere. She can be an extreme fangirl over things she loves. A bit childish and naive sometimes. Can be very stubborn.

There isn't really anything unique about her personality, considering how overused the 'yandere' trait is and that fangirling over the canon members makes her seem like more of a fan rather than an actual character. I suggest you use a different word than 'fangirl'.

Likes: Ice cream, the forest, anime, her scythe, cats

Maybe connect more of her likes to the rest of her character?

Dislikes: most non Creepypasta people, Jeff the Killer; he annoys her sometimes, daytime

Good job on hating a character that is usually loved.

Strengths: her agility and stealthiness. Also her ability to fly.

Woah, she can fly!?

Weaknesses: she can only fly for a short period of time as it takes a lot of energy. She is highly allergic to the sun so she can only go out at night. She will also sometimes have an uncontrollable urge for blood, which can make her very dangerous.

Her flaws are pretty good, actually. And also the fact that there's more than her stregths.

Powers/Abilities: most usual vampire stuff. She can apparently turn neko and her hoodie can change to red when she's mad. Idk, not exactly my ideas.

You might want to change the neko and hoodie part, unless you have an explanation.

Crush/Love Interest: Slenderman and Ticci Toby are her crushes, though I think she might like Ticci Toby more.

Uh-oh spagetti-os.

Backstory: Jade was born as a human. She lived a pretty normal life until she was kidnapped in senior year. Her kidnappers happened to be vampires and they turned her into one. They then dropped her of at the side of the road, miles from home. She didn't even know she was a vampire until she felt her first urge for blood. She realized how dangerous she was and knew she could never go back home. Yet she needed blood to live, so she began killing people. She got her scythe from one of her victims and now it never leaves her side. She later became a proxy of Slenderman and lives in Slender Mansion. Her best friend is Blood (my friend's OC) and she sometimes participates in tea parties with Sally (though they are not super close)

Note: This OC was meant to go with my friends story, so some ideas are hers, but most are mine.

First off, who exactly did she kill to get a scythe? And it's not exactly bad that her backstory is a bit simple, though maybe add a bit of spice to it. Though otherwise it's fine.

Overall, this character seems to be like most of the other marysue ocs, and I'm not able to point out one unique thing about her (aside from the fact that she's a vampire, which I'm not really sure is used often). The neko vampire thing is a big no, and there isn't really anything that scary about her (at least for me). You should work on explaining her species (a flying neko vampire??) and character more, making her more memorable yet not over the top.

Sue Rating: 95%

Originality Rating: 5%

Interest Grade: D