OC Reviews [now closed bc of personal issues]

Abby West | Original Fandom | [ C- ]

Oc made by: awesomeabbi337

Name: Abby West

She is not in a fandom. Her story is about her, and the baseball team she is on going to country championships. Nothing special. Very realistic.

But what is the plot of her story?

Age: 14

Gender: Female

Species: Human

Description: Abby is decently short for her age, She is 5'2. At the beginning she is 122 lbs, and she gradually lost weight at the end. Abby has short, often dirty, brown hair And light green eyes. Her hair is often put up into a ponytail, and if she isn't wearing her uniform, she is most likely to be wearing her pajamas or a T-shirt and Shorts. Abby has an almost completely flat chest, and She has Copper color skin from always being outside, and as of scars, Abby has two. One on her elbow, from a nasty slide on a bad field. It is small, about 2 inches long. And one on the back of her leg, from the same cause. You will Normally see her with a lot of bruises, because she is often hit with the Ball, or the bat while she is catching.

Pretty good! Though how exactly short is her hair if she has to put it up in a ponytail? And by 'often dirty' are you talking about the color of her hair or how unclean it is?

Personality: Abby is very Loud and Obnoxious, but she tries not to be annoying to people. Abby has a love for information, and always had to learn new things, whether it be useful to book smarts, or street smarts. Abby hate to be discriminated for being a girl, because she believes she is just as strong, just as fast, and just as Capable as all the boys. But Abby is very Stubborn, she has low patience, And she get annoyed extremely easily.  Another side note, if you want Abby to rate something, don't expect a sugar coat, expect you're soul being bashed unless you did 11 out of 10.

Her traits fit rather well together, making her sound like an interesting person and a pretty good protagonist.

Likes: Baseball, Books, Potatoes, seeing people smile, cookie dough, Dirt/mud

Goes well with her character.

Dislikes: Losing, Cherries (she is deathly allergic), Rodents, Heights, spiders (she has a fear of both),

Understandable.

Strengths: Abby has Wit and Will at her disposal. She also is a very fast and runner. She also has a lot of very snappy comebacks that she learned from her team

Fast running works with her baseball circumstances.

Weaknesses: Abby isn't exactly the strongest person, and she is actually very emotional and clingy. She has very low self esteem.  A lot of people she knows loves cherries, but Abby is deathly allergic if they are consumed.

Her having weaknesses and strengths attached to her plot are expected from an oc, but not always included. It's good that you continued to stick with your theme throughout your oc.

Backstory: Well, she is just a normal person. Nothing special besides her team being chosen to represent Maryland in the country champs of 2016. Nothing special.

Just because she's a normal person, doesn't mean she can't have a backstory. Where was she born? Who is her family? What do they do? How did she get into baseball? How did she meet the team, and what relationships do they have with each other?

Abilities: She has some weird abilities. She can hold her breath for a rather long time,  she can run long distances without stopping, and Abby has an astounding Memory, especially of her years when she was 8-10.

She dose have a crush on a boy who plays on her team, but he has a girlfriend. His name is Dane and his girlfriend is named Maddie.

Co-Ed sport teams are very rare.

Overall , she's a good character, but she isn't very exciting. Maybe if you included more of her plot and purpose in the story, as well as more interactions with other characters, she'd be more attention grabbing. You know how with most sport animes, they heavily stress the relationships between character—whether positive or negative—because it grabs the audiences attention.

Sue rating: 15%

Originality rating: 75%

Interest grade: C-