OC Reviews [now closed bc of personal issues]

Samuel Haig | Original Fandom | [ C ]

Fandom- Original: sort of confusing... I'll try my best to explain it >~<

So basically Sam Haig (main character) is immortal in a world of people who have abilities, which are usually some kind of natural skill that has been heightened in a way (i.e. strength, hearing, sight, intelligence). Erm, I have the beginning of it published if you are still confused.

Full name- Samuel Ezekiel Haig

Goes by- Sam, S, but mostly Ben (fake name)

Why the fake name?

Age- looks about 26

Real Age- 450

I almost wish you said 420, but this goes with the story.

Gender- Male

Description- Tall, skinny, and somewhat lanky man with hazel eyes. Somewhat pale, but not as white as a ghost. Short, curly, well-kept brown hair. Scars from being shot, cut, and tortured (past deaths).

Lanky means both thin and tall as you know. Try to fix that part so it's not a repetitive sentence. Just "somewhat lanky" would work.

Personality- cranky, proud, and sort of a jerk, to be honest. Not particularly nice to anyone whatsoever. Enjoys classical music and tries to hear the music in daily life.

Cranky goes with the next sentence. Proud should maybe be a different sentence cause it's always seen as something positive unless specified.

LIKES-

Music, high quality meals(mostly meat), rain, and being alone.

You could add the classical music piece here. I'm not sure if by music you mean just classical or what.

DISLIKES

Being around people, being recognized by anyone, life itself, and vegetarians or vegans.

I really don't like when people kind of beat up vegetarians or vegans, and I know you're trying to the whole "loves meat" thing, but do you really need to have your character hate a specific group of people for a pretty stupid reason. Some vegetarians (as well as some vegans) aren't like that because they want to be hipsters or up with modern trends, but because of their religion.

STRENGTHS

- Lying is second nature

- Skills in electronics

- Medical training and has been a Medical Examiner

Shouldn't immortality be here?

WEAKNESSES

- Antisocial

- Afraid of confrontation

- Doesn't experience emotions very strongly

You've really only given him two traits and that's angry and antisocial.

Backstory- Sam was born a twin with his brother, Ben, in Scotland before the mass population had abilities. His childhood started out normally and he and his brother were basically inseparable. Ben was outgoing and an extrovert that got along with everyone, while Sam was antisocial and awkward and spent his time with his father, who was a mechanic and computer engineer. He later went to college for biomedical engineering, but later decided he wanted to be a doctor. As he got older, his brother looked older, but he did not. Years passed, and he watched his family die while he never aged. Past that, well, it's a long story. :)

Does this take place in the future cause his attending-school-for-a-modern-career says that that all happened during a time like our own. And, well, know he's 450.

Ability- Immortality (to an extent)

Clothing- Mainly button ups with vests and ties. You could consider it dapper, I guess.

Not always when the time seems off.

Sexuality- Asexual

REPRESENTATION IS GOOD.

I've written and published a prompt for him on my profile named Endless. Thanks for taking the time for my form!

Oh, and, by the way, he can die, but only by the weapon that killed him the first time.

Overall, the issue with him is he's blank. He has only two emotions that he portrays: being introverted and cranky. His backstory is also confusing cause you didn't specify what time he currently lives in, and his clothing preference suggests a time like our own. However, his scholarly path suggests that he went to school during our time but is now in the future.

Sue rating: 60%
Originality rating: 60%
Interest grade: C