OC Reviews [now closed bc of personal issues]

Raleigh Nyima | Original Fandom | [ A+ ]

Oc made by: the BEST admin (for some sort of example or to fuel my superiority complex? [<-- that's a joke btw])

Plot: The government is beyond corrupt, other countries hate America because of it's previous president with an agenda for war, pollution stains the skies, and the seasons are everywhere with little to no snow in winter, being pushed late into spring, but people keep on living. A new type of radiation based on new elements created by chemical pollution are starting to cause irregular mutations in most living organisms, especially mammals. The government has also started kidnapping people out of their homes, something the U.S. has never had to face before. When Raleigh's older sister is taken, he and his family are distraught, too afraid to do anything. Then strange things start happening to him, blacking out and waking up in different places, horrible migraines. One night, when Raleigh is fast asleep, blissful unaware of the people dressed in all black sneaking into his bottom floor apartment, he is taken and he is tortured for information on the side of his sister he never knew she had.

Holy shoot that sounds really cool!

Name: Raleigh Nyima

Good, good.

Age: 8-22

Gender: male

O/S: pansexual

Description: He has beautifully styled hair, shaved on both sides, while the top part is longer, spiked, and pushed to the right with the tips dyed red. He has tanned skin (he's Tibetan) and is a little chubby around the stomach area, but he does have some small muscles. He's the tallest of his siblings at 5'10. He isn't the most attractive in the world, but he's fine with it. He also has a tattoo that says "This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness." around his shoulder area.

Interesting and unique, as well as descriptive. I can imagine him pretty well, and that must be a pretty big tattoo. He sounds very aesthetically pleasing.

Personality: He tries his best to be kind, but nowadays he only finds himself in a horrible mood. He was very social and had many friends before the government started fucking shit up more than it was already fucked up, but now he's becoming more antisocial and the first signs of depression are starting to show up. The current state of the world is really affecting his personality for the worst, but sometimes be can find the time to just lay down and binge watch movies and TV shows for hours or talk to his best friend, Kunga, through FaceChat. Though he has a more "woke" view on politics and social issues, he's too scared to voice his opinions. When he gets sudden bursts of happiness he tried to make the best of them and treats himself to sugary snacks. 

Jeez, that's descriptive! In a good way. His personality has both strength and flaws, which even each other out. It also sounds realistic in his situation, and makes an interesting character.

Likes: Fairs, french fries (most potato dishes), his mother's dumplings, binge watching tv, intersectional feminism, a game called Gaga, soccer, old movies (before everything was ruined), dragons, action movies, Martial Arts in action movies

Nice nice.

Dislikes: Most vegetables (especially garlic), except broccoli and olives, tomatos, the U.S., the "president ", the fear he has to live in, neoconservatives, the KKK, feeling sweaty, horses

Detailed is good!

Strengths: He can remember things that mean a lot to him, like quotes his father used to tell him from the previous Dalai Lama; he's very tolerant; has a good aim from years of Gaga; hard punch (also from Gaga); great balance; isn't easily taken advantage of

You have an explanation for his physical strength, which is something I personally like seeing. Also fits with personality.

Weaknesses: has a hard time getting what he means across; accidentally changes words in his head: forgetful: has dyslexia; sucks at physical combat, but he can lift his leg up pretty high; can't comfort people and doesn't know how to deal with mental illness, especially Emiel's Excoriation disorder (dermatillomania)

Giving a character more flaws than strengths isn't a bad thing at all, in fact it gives you more opportunities to write scenarios with this character!

Family: Tselha Nyima (father, deceased), Rinchen Nyima (mother), Kelly Waller (step-mother), Kesang Nyima (sister), Tsomo Nyima (sister), Finley Nyima (brother)

Backstory: Raleigh was born on August 6th, 2013 to Tselha and Rinchen Nyima and named after his mother's favorite comic book character. Two years after his birth, his last sibling was born, Finley, who was named after a dog they had. Raleigh lived a obliviously happy life for many years, especially during the time of year when fairs came along. One of the festivals he started participating in was the Tibet Festival when he was 7. When he was 8, he was in a cultural dance about the hardships the Tibetan people once faced before the Chinese took their homeland. Afterwards, he and his siblings began to lose contact with their cultural heritage. More years pass, Raleigh becoming more like his mother: a video game, comic loving, intersectional activist, than his more traditional father. Sadly in 2027, when Raleigh was 15, his father died of cancer and two years later his mother remarried a woman named Kelly. Though Raleigh and the rest of his family desperately missed his father, Kelly was a step-mother they all found they loved. In 2032, Raleigh graduated from high school into a much crueler, damaged world than the one he started his education in. Dangerous political agendas, social injustices, pollution, chemicals rumored to be changing people (giving the chemically enhanced people the title: the Changed), the KKK terrorizing blacks without repercussion, and the threat of being taken from your home in the middle of the night plagued the less fortunate members of the U.S. POC, queers, non-christians, especially Muslims, and any decent people were in danger of either being murdered, being accused of pushing anti-government beliefs and executed, or being taken. Raleigh, however hard the world was for someone like him, was able to find a decent community college, and get a good side job. He was in his 2nd year of college, studying business, when his older sister, Tsomo, goes missing. He and his family gather together to talk about Tsomo's disappearance and console each other, but are too scared to call the police, who are just as corrupt as the government, if not more dangerous. Raleigh later returns to his apartment and has a short little cry. Half a year later is when the story really gets going after visiting different, but important parts of Raleigh's life in the writing of this story.

I can appreciate how even though Raleigh lives in a torn up world, he isn't given the absolute worst and tragic backstory. And a good amount of detail also helps me with picturing both the world he lives him and Raleigh himself! Something great about the plot and backstory is how realistic it is, and how it really reflects to how the dangers in our current world can progress.

Powers/Abilities: he experiences the symptoms of the pre-changing, but nothing noticeable happens; none (is not one of the changed, but his sister, Tsomo, is)

Crush/Love Interest: Kunga (a girl in his dance group he liked when he was 8 and best friend), Emiel Cooper (a Changed man who got him out of the government's darkest prison for enemies of the country)

Overall, he's a great character and a spectacular example of the details that should be put into a character. The plot is super interesting and I'd love to jump into a series with it any day.

Sue rating: 0%

Originality rating: 100%

Interest grade: A+