OC Reviews [now closed bc of personal issues]

Cardinal | MLP | [ C- ]

Oc made by: milomydoggie

Fandom: mlp

Name: Cardinal

Cool name.

Age: 18?

Gender: male

Species: Pegasus

Description: red coat, a black underbelly that goes to his face to make a mask look on him, peach colored eyes, his cutie mark is a pair of boxing gloves

I've never seen his coat pattern before on any MLP character or oc.

Personality: he's a very lazy, short tempered, hard headed, stubborn, rarely nice but only to kids, trouble maker, somewhat active

"Very lazy" and "somewhat active" doesn't match his cutie mark very well. It's takes a lot of energy and physical fitness to box or fight, as well as stamina level, which is increased by exercising.

Likes: foals (cuz they're cute too him :3 ), not doing anything, doing something he wasn't supposed to do, being left alone

Oo, rebellious. I'd imagine he'd like boxing though, right?

Dislikes: his ideas not being heard, being forced to fight, not getting any personal space (which he hates when pinkie pie tries to make him smile)

His backstory fits with his likes and dislikes.

Strengths: speed, strength, stealth

Weaknesses: foals, his short temper

These weakness aren't really weak weaknesses. Maybe he has one flaw with his fighting technique that causes problems form him or something. It's not bad for a character to have more flaws than strengths, it makes for a more interesting character and let's you write more complex problems into his story.

Backstory: when he was a foal his father (Jaywing) wanted him to make a living earlier in life so he taught him how to fight. Later on his mother Rolatina (she's Italian) left due too Cardinal's father being too rash making him hold a huge grudge on his father. making him train more to get rid his anger earning the boxing glove cutie mark.

Man, I would be more mad at my mother if she just left me like that. Does she ever talk to him? How he got the cutie mark makes sense, but I think he'd actually enjoy fighting for it to make complete sense.

Crush/love interest: none but pinkie pie he has to bear and it's funny to him when she tries to make him smile.

So Pinkie Pie is just his friend, or does he end up liking her (because this is in crush/love interest)?

Well, overall this character isn't too Marty Sueish, but he's kind of boring, mainly because his bio doesn't come with much information. Believe it or not, detail is important for getting a better view on the character, for your readers and yourself.

Sue rating: 15%

Originality rating: 75%

Interest grade: C-