OC Reviews [now closed bc of personal issues]

Hazel Mist | MLP | [ B- ]

Fandom: MLP

Name: Hazel Mist

Nickname: Mystery (because MISTery)

oHH wow that's pretty crafty

Age: 13

Gender: Female

Species: Pegasus

Description: Bright green eyes. White/extremely light light gray coat. Light pink hair that ambres to hazel brown with a light green streak.

I've seen some oc's with a similar color palette, but otherwise this is fine.

Personality: Hostile to strangers, impulsive, stubborn, honest (sometimes TOO honest that makes people cry. Yeah truth hurts.), loyal.

Gives me a good image of her character!!

Sexuality: Straight.

Likes: Drawing, making dubstep music, speed, and all things awesome

Some of these don't really stand out, or in other words some of these interests are similar to characters in the actual show. Which is alright, I'm just assuming they're based of canon characters, but maybe give her something the can connect to her cutie mark or something.

Dislikes: fake "friends", crowds

I don't think anyone would enjoy having "fake friends". Maybe you can add something else, like what angers her? And if she's unfriendly towards strangers, wouldn't it be in her dislikes?

Strengths: Loyal, honest and hardworking

Weaknesses: Hostile towards strangers, stubborn, impulsive, don't care attitude.

Possibly reword some of these, since you used these in her personality.

Backstory: First things first, Hazel Mist really hates being called by her full name (Hey idiot who is typing this, I go by Mystery) oops sorry... Mystery it is then. Anyway, Mystery lived in Las Pegasus and attended a prestigious flight school. She came out top there and received the honor of being the Fastest Flyer In Las Pegasus. Suddenly swarmed with "stupid annoying ass damn paparazzi" as quoted from Mystery herself, she developed a phobia of crowds, and moved away to Manehatten, where her older sister Shadow Leaf lived (Shadow was a university student studying in Manhattan)

Okay, however maybe add 'the Fastest Flyer in Las Pegasus' to her strengths, but it's good you added an explanation to her disliking in crowds.

Crush: Please, boys are freaking stupid. Forever single and loving it.

You go girl.

Alright, so overall she's pretty okay. But I should add that you didn't add her cutie mark, or if she even has one. Her characteristics make her feel more animated and 'realistic', if that makes sense. The only things I suggest is adding more to her likes, dislikes, strengths, and weaknesses, or at least enough to make her backstory fit with the rest of her. And at times she sound like the 'I'm not like other girls' type. But otherwise, good work, sport!

Sue Rating: 22%

Originality Rating: 78%

Interest Grade: B-

Statement: "It seems like you MISTed her cutie mark."

Admin: Albert