OC Reviews [now closed bc of personal issues]

Elsie Charles | Harry Potter | [ D ]

Fandom: Harry Potter

Age: 11

Name: Elsie Rae Charles

Gender: female

Species: witch

Description: Brown hair, hazel eyes, pale, straight hair

Good, but more description would be good.

Personality: bold, secretive, talks to herself in her head, reckless

I'm pretty sure everyone talks to themselves in their head.

Likes: permanent things, like buildings

Dislikes: fake people(though she's a little fake herself), people who everything comes easy to

Strengths: very brave, stands up for what she believes in

Weaknesses: gets trapped in her head, jealousy sometimes comes before what's right and wrong to her, she has a mean streak, and her emotions are turbulent and change easily.

Interesting weaknesses. I'd like to see how they affect her story.

Backstory: her mom was a pureblood who married a muggle, which caused her mothers family to be upset and cross her off the family tree. Ultimately, her dad left when Elsie's older brother showed accidental magic. Elsie's mom was angry and mortified about the mistake she made, and Elsie's family grew up pretending they were Purebloods. Her friends know her as "Elsie Brown," at school. This is why she is always secretive. Other than that, she has a loving mother and brother, even though her mother resents her sometimes.

Her backstory isn't too tragic and it's interesting, but I don't think "Brown" is that good for a Prueblood name (if it's suppose to be a fake name).

Abilities: she is a witch who is best at transfiguration

Love interest: none, all her friends get boyfriends and she is left single. If she gets married, it'll be to an unknown

Cool.

Extra: she is friends with Lily, Severus, but her best friend is an oc named Alannah, who is friends with the Mauraders. She doesn't like them very much though, so she is often just with Severus.

I like how her connection with important characters are distant, but try to avoid too close of a relationship with them that affects the main story.

Overall, this character barley had any Sueish traits, but she wasn't all that interesting. I'm not sure what to say about her other than she had an interesting backstory. I suggest adding something more to her personality, just to tie all of the traits together.

Sue Rating: 20%
Originality Rating: 75%
Interest Grade: D

Admin: Billy