Walking Forward to the Beginning (Book 5)

Sleep, Interrupted

I had started doing better
With going to bed
Closing my eyes
Moving my clock
Around to get to normal

But then these changes
Came to pass
Decisions made
And not made

Appointments called about
Confirmed
Plane tickets purchased
There is no definite
There hasn't been
A concrete choice

But the what ifs
In my head has had my
Sleep, interrupted
We've known about
What we could seek out

For a while now
But the constant
Uncertainties swirling
Around in my head

Have been very difficult
To let loose
So I keep reminding
Myself

One thing at a time
The leap off the cliff
Isn't happening tomorrow
If at all

We're just looking at our
Possibilities
I have a cover letter to update
References to send
When I restart the job hunt

Though totally different now
From before
It still keeps me
Procrastinating
For fear of the same failure

I know only with search
Things come to fruition
But that doesn't mean
I don't second guess myself

I come off strong to the outside
World and to myself
But we all have weak moments
Where everything is just so
Incredibly overwhelming

That you just want to run away
Hide in amongst the trees
The music
The nature

So how do I get myself back
On some form of track?
Beats the hell out of me
But I've never given up yet

And if I can MacGyver a metal
Fence to open a beer bottle
On the beach
I'm sure I can make it so that

I'm the woman with the
Sleep, uninterrupted

Goodnight