Friends With Freddy

Уσυя Ρяσвℓєм

I stared at the ground beneath me. The small plastic inhaler in my hand reminds me of what I have. Something that can't be fixed in time.
I lost him. He's gone. I have to remind myself about this every waking hour. And it hurts. It hurts to know that I've actually lost him for good this time, and it's my fault. Jessica knocks softly on the door, and enters. "Hey, are you feeling okay?" She asked softly. I thought I could hear his voice in her, but I was just hallucinating. I didn't respond.
"Alison?" She asked.
Silence.
She sighed, and walked out, gently closing the door behind her. I still couldn't believe it. I lost him. I couldn't keep it in anymore, and I completely lost it. I started sobbing. The inhaler fell on the floor as I covered my face with my hands.
I went over to apologize, but I ended up making things even worse. How was I going to fix it?

__School__

I didn't bother coming to practice after that. What's the point? They all hate me now, especially Summer and Freddy. I made my way down the hallway, when someone placed a hand on my shoulder. I sighed, and looked at him.
"What do you want Matthew?" I asked softly. Sympathy filled his eyes, and I couldn't believe it. He actually cared.
"As much as I hate that guy, I still feel sorry for you. You made one mistake, and got all these problems swirling around you," he said. The tardy bell rung, but we stayed in place.
"Thanks, but I don't need your sympathy. I can handle this on my own," I said. I started to turn around, but he firmly gripped my shoulders. "No, you can't handle this. Jessica told me everything that's been happening with you. I think you're in depression, Alison," he said. I stared at the floor, holding back the sobs. He embraced with a hug from behind, and I didn't protest.
I imagined it was him. He was someone I couldn't stop thinking about. His soft warm lips against mine, and his gentle touch. His warm soft skin, and his green eyes. His voice, his smile, his laugh. I missed everything about him. I actually realized how lonely I was. Matthew let me go, and offered to walk me to class. I didn't protest, and happily went with it.
...
"You two are late," Mr. Finn said softly. His voice showed less anger, and more sadness. He probably understood what happened. We both took our seats, and I rested my head against the table. I wanted so badly to look at him.
He's right next to you, just take one peek. It's not like he's going to look back at you, I thought. And so I did. I glanced at him, but I regret doing that.
My eyes fill with tears, but I hold them back, succeeding. Or so I thought. I took a deep shaky breath, and watched as Mr. Finn continued to teach. Zach had noticed the tears in my eyes, and looked away, holding back his own.
I continued to write down everything. And I caught myself. I wrote his name. Both of their names.

Freddy and Matthew.

I couldn't take it anymore. I asked to be excused, and he happily let me go. I crumpled up the piece of paper, and threw it away. No way was I in love with the both of them.
I only want one.
But he doesn't want me.
Once I was in the hallway, I let the tears fall. I was in so much pain and agony, that it almost felt like torture. I sat down in front of the bathroom, and let myself think as the tears streamed down so often.
I missed everything about him. His touch.
And that's when I felt it. The touch I had been longing for for so long, is finally here.
I was so happy, but when I looked up, it wasn't him. Zach.
He sat down beside me, and ruffled my hair. "I'm sorry you have to go through all of this. The whole band noticed that you're in depression, and we've been begging Freddy and Summer to apologize, but they wouldn't. There's actually a reason for Freddy, and you're going to hate that girl when you hear it," he babbled on.
"Go on," I say.
Zach took a deep breath, and let it spill out. I was horrified.
"Summer forced him to break his friendship with you."