Diary of a Daughter (Based off of "Moments")

Fourty-Seven: Seeing my mother

As we drove into the city to get to the adoption center, as I looked out the window, my mind began racing with the memory of me driving home when my Dads first adopted me. I was actually scared to go into a new home. But now, I was scared to go back to the adoption center and visit my mom. I had no idea what she was going to do or what she was going to say. I was even scared that she might want to take me back. Having come so far and having grown up with my Dads, I did not want to go back.

My heart began racing even more as I pulled up to the parking lot of the adoption center. There were a lot less cars here than there were when I still lived here.

As Daddy S and Daddy M got out of the car, I still sat in there, not being able to move. I didn't want to go through those doors and come face to face with somebody who gave me away as a baby. But I could feel myself getting out of the car and closing the car door.

Daddy S looked at me and held my hand tightly, same with Daddy M before the three of us walked inside together.

The first thing we saw was Anna. I didn't really focus on what she said but I remember her taking us into a room. It was the same room where children would be interviewed by parents who wanted to adopt. I was lucky enough not to actually go in here.

We then waited for a couple minutes, what felt like a couple hours for Anna to bring my mother into the room.

Daddy M then looked over at me.

"Em, whatever happens, I just want you to know that I love you very much." Daddy M stated. I held Daddy M's hand and nodded. He then looked at Daddy S, "Sean, if you have anything negative to say, don't say anything at all." Daddy S nodded.

Suddenly, my heart jolted as the door slowly opened. Then Anna came in. Followed by a woman wearing a long, red dress, black jacket, tan skin like mine and had smooth, curly black hair like mine.

It was my biological mother.

The first thing she did was stare at me for a few moments before growing emotional. I wasn't even emotional yet. I was still scared.

"Hi Emily, it's me..." My mother stated. She then went over and shook hands with Daddy M and Daddy S. She was very kind to them at least.
"Emily, I know you have a lot of questions going through your mind." Anna told me.
I nodded "I just want to know why you gave me away."
My mother sighed, still emotional, "Because after you were just born, your father, your real father, got into a terrible accident and died at the scene. I knew didn't have enough money to support you and everyone else, so I had to do the only thing that was best for you and give you up for adoption."
"Wait, everyone else?" I asked.
"Yes, my mother, your grandmother, and my daughter and son, who would be your brother and sister." My mother explained.
"So you had enough money to support them, but not me?" I asked.
"Emily, the four of us lived in an apartment complex on what is probably the most dangerous and poorest part of the city." My mother explained. "I knew I couldn't let you live in a place like that."
"you lived in Los Angeles all this time?" I asked.
"Until 2016, when we finally got the opportunity and the money to move to an actual home out of the state in Colorado." My mother explained. "I wanted to take you out of the adoption center, but that's when I found out you were already adopted by two parents already." She then looked at my Dads. "And I can tell you two have taken really good care of her."
"We love her to death." Daddy M nodded.
My mother then looked at me again, "What have you been doing all these years?"
"I've danced for a few years." I said. "I've also done marching band and I've been in many clubs at school. I'm also top of the class."
"That's wonderful to hear!" My mother smiled, tears still forming in her eyes.
I then started asking questions "What are my brother and sister like? And my grandmother?"
"They're all wonderful people." My mother explained. "If I could've brought them here I definitely would have."

She then took something out of her pocket and slid it to me across the table. I took a look at it. It was my entire family. My mom, grandma, sister and brother. My sister looked almost exactly like me. I looked up at my mother.

"Th-Thank you." I told her.

She then came over to me and hugged her tightly, "I love you so much Emily, even though we are miles apart from one another. I want you to live a happy and normal life like you've always lived."
I nodded, "Okay."

She then looked over at my Dads.

"Thank you both so much for taking care of my daughter." My mother said to them.
"We're glad to have her as part of the family." Daddy S smiled.

My mother gave me one last look before she suddenly left the room. I stood up and wanted to walk out with her, because I still had many questions to ask her, and I'm sure she had so many questions for me. But I just stood exactly where I was before slowly sitting back down again.

"Are you okay Em?" Daddy S asked.
"I dunno..." I shrugged. "I guess I'm just still in shock, that's all..."

Daddy S gave me a pat on the shoulder.

Anna then came in.

"I'm sorry she suddenly left." Anna said.
"It's alright." Daddy M responded.
"Thank you for stopping by and letting her see you all." Anna said.
"You're welcome." Daddy S nodded.

The three of us then walked out of the adoption center, hoping to catch a glimpse of her pulling out of the parking lot or something, but we didn't see anything.
---

4/02/26

Dear Diary,

I got to see my mother. She was absolutely beautiful. She told me everything I needed to know, but I still wanted to know more, but she left before I got the opportunity to ask her anything.
I wish I could've seen my brother, sister and my grandma as shown in the picture, but I guess I understand why I can't and I can only imagine them in my thoughts.
And I forgive my mother for giving me away... Because if she hadn't, I wouldn't have gotten to experience what I had experienced with my Dads. It probably would've been so much worse.

~Em