princesses and vampires | gerard way✔

70- Better Without Me (Part One)

trigger warning; self harm, depressing thoughts, + voices
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So Gerard has been spending every second of the day with Charlie. It's nice to see him with someone who makes him happy but to be quite honest I'm jealous. She makes him so happy and with me he's always stressed.

That's because he hates you

My voices now scream, all day, every day. I don't know how to stop it. But I got my pills refilled so I'm not withdrawing anymore but the voices are still there.

You'll never get rid of me

I could've told the doctor but they would've took me to a hospital and I don't want that, I'd rather sit in agony.

I sat at the breakfast table watching Charlie and Gerard laugh.

Four days, today marks four days since the last time Gerard said he loved me.

That's because he doesn't fucking love you

I sighed, they were right. Tonight I'll leave and let everyone be happy. Tears fell down my face and I wiped them away quickly. I swallowed my coffee quickly and walked to the bathroom. I took a out a ring box that held my escape, my razors.

I took one a glided it across my skin and blood ran out of the cuts. I cleaned the new scars added on my old, I added makeup to cover the damage done, to hid the evidence. I walked out the bathroom and walked into the bedroom quickly, hiding my puffy face from crying.
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No one has acknowledged me, literally no one. Not even Gerard hell not even Zach! Maybe this was a sign I need to leave.

You needed to leave a long time ago

Thanks voices for always being there. I fiddled with my hands as the guys talked and Charlie budding in every so often. I got up and threw my untouched food away, walked to the hallway. I'm ready to leave.
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I grabbed my bag filled with essentials, and I left a note. I walked out the door and headed to the park, no looking back now. I laid on the bench and closed my eyes drifting into deep sleep.

Goodnight Violet, no one misses you