princesses and vampires | gerard way✔

72- The End Is Closer Than It Seems

trigger warning; self harm, depressing thoughts, overdosing, suicidal thought, + voices
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Attention Whore
All you do is whine
Kill yourself
Why are you even here

My voices scream they don't shut up. Never. My positive voice disappeared, so has my happiness. Why am I like this whenever I'm happy my something happens and I'm left depressed.

For days I've been planning and tonight is the night I commit suicide. I'm aware this is stupid but I think it's best for the guys and me, I can't live with these voices.

You should kill yourself

Telling the guys about these voices they'll take me to a mental place, I can't go I'd rather die than rot in a hospital.

My plan is overdose on my pills, a bit ironic I suppose. My pills are here to help me but they did quite the opposite. I've acted happy all day so the guys wouldn't suspect a thing, I didn't need that.

Night time fell and everyone went to bed. I watched tv and quickly got out a pen and paper writing down my note.

Dear Gerard, I love you, I love you much. What I have done is no one's fault I'm just a screw up. I wasn't meant to be here, my voices tell me the truth. Don't ever blame yourself for my mistakes. I've loved you and always will, but it's my time to go. I love you darling.

,Violet, Princess

Dear Jacob, you've always been here for me and I thank you for putting up with me. But I was the cause of all trouble in our family. Without me you couldn't had a family with mom and dad. And I hope you can forgive me, I love you so much.

,Violet, Mistress

Dear Ray, Frank, and Mikey
Even though you guys tried to kill me when met you I love you guys. But now you guys can get girfriends(boyfriends for Mikey)and be happy without me being jealous. I really hope you guys can forgive my doing, thank you guys for everything. I love you.

,Violet

I rip the notes and sat all three of them on the kitchen counter and grabbed my anti-depressants.

So this is it

Do it
Do it
Do it

My voices chanted as I swallowed a pill, and another, and another. The bottle was then found empty. I sat the bottle on the kitchen tiles as I fell down to the tiles from weakness.

I closed my eyes as I started to shake and sweat dripping from my body.

Goodnight world

Goodnight Violet you made the right choice