Finding Forgiveness {Jerza}

Cavalry

Tick's P.O.V.

"Why have you always got to be like this?" I asked Asmodai, "Why can't you see that everyone is suffering for your sake?"

We were sitting across from one another in the privacy of her room that lay just above the guild hall. It was rather luxurious here, with tapestries and fine art lining the walls. Different objects from her travels were also crowded along shelves that just barely managed to hold her book collection.

"Why is everyone's suffering supposed to be my concern?" She inquired, picking up a glass and taking a sip, "Everyone in this guild has the choice to be here; if they truly want to leave, they can."

"But what kind of person would leave their own daughter? Or wife? Asmodai, even as well as I know you, I don't know when this all started. But you should know when to quit, or else your own guild members are going to band against you."

"Don't forget I'm quite the capable wizard myself, Tick. People may not willingly leave their family members, but they have the choice," She narrowed her eyes with an interested smile, "Although it's rare having these conversations with you these days. Has something changed?"

I looked away from her and stared at the floor.

Something had certainly changed.

Erza Scarlet had survived.

I'm just about as good as dead.

"Nothing's changed. I've just been off doing an awful lot of thinking," I swallowed hard as the emotions hit me. I gave her my direct attention once again as I raised my voice, "You can still have a future! You don't have to be this way- I know it! And I know you! And hurting people was never something you intended to do, I just know it."

"Don't talk nonsense," Her smile jerked slightly as she put down her glass.

"I'm not! You know that I'm right, you just have to accept it. There's not a single person on this planet that's never done something wrong, or hurt someone. We're all just human beings trying to get by from sunrise to sunset, and you're no different!"

"Tick!" She shouted as her smile fell apart, "There's nothing I can do for you if that's what you came here to talk about-"

"She's not coming back, Asmodai," I interrupted her, slightly shaking my head as I spoke, "Akemi isn't coming back."

"YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SPEAK OF HER!" She screamed as her familiar magic attempted to choke out my voice. Her breathing was rigid as her eyes began to water, "You have no right to bring her up at all, Tick."

"S-She wouldn't," I tried to speak against the spell, "Want t-to see you this way."

Her facial expression trembled slightly in it's place, as if she couldn't say what was on her mind. She stared into my eyes with her own and I could tell exactly what she was feeling. Somewhere inside of myself, I felt the need to hug her. To give her warmth. 

But then I remembered the last time I held her, and suddenly it became much easier to keep my distance. She released me from her hold as she buried her face in her hands.

"The hell do you know, Tick?" She mumbled into her arms, "You don't know what it's like to feel the pain of loosing someone every day- no- you were lucky enough to forget."

I sat still for a moment, thinking Asmodai was just rambling hateful phrases towards me under her breath. That was, until it clicked.

"Wait, what are you trying to say?" I questioned her with more enthusiasm than I should've. I sank back in my seat, "Did I loose someone?"