I am afraid
That I am destructive
That if I have something good
Great even
I feel compelled
To destroy it
I'm not so pure
I am not so innocent
My darkness seeps out my pores
Despicable
Just afraid
But when I really search myself
It doesn't feel this way
I feel like every rock or metal song written
I feel broken
I keep searching
For something I know not
To ever come
I'm the broken glass shards
Sliding across the soft of your skin
The rose stomped into the ground
Then swept up into your hands
I am the clouds before it rains
& the hail as it falls
The thunder in the night
& the lion or tiger that roars
My heart is aching
& I can't seem to find the sources
My ears won't listen
So don't you dare say one word
I'm laying hear
And this urge is becoming unbearable
So I will write until I numb the pain
Because cutting won't solve a damn thing
Drinking sounds fun
But on an empty stomach sounds dumb
Smoking only helps ease the stress
But as soon as it's put out
Here comes the smoke
Where's the help when you need it
Or "my real ones"
I charge in blindly
Slashing & cutting
Everything that's in ones sight
I found a light
Then I dimmed it
By covering it
Now it's slowing fading away
Here again
Left in the darkest parts of my mind
I lean back
Shut my eyes
SILENCE
As I await my time to die
