Begin Again

June 27th

Bigla akong nanibago kay Mister Martè . Bigla kasing , nanghingi ng advice para sa isasara na mga deals para sa upcoming expansion na naman  Century International Corporation . Magtatayo sila ng panibagong Hotel-Condominium  sa Fort-Bonifacio, Taguig.

He was asking kung tama ba na kukuha pa ng bagong team ng interior designers para sa nalalapit sa building. Meron na kasing sariling team ang kumpanya but some of the investors and maybe the board of members are suggesting it. Since it's a new high-end building nararapat lang daw fresh sets of interior designers na ang kunin para hindi mag-sawa ang mga magiging buyers or client.  And maybe one of the reasons also dahil puros sikat na tao ang target nila. Hindi ba kilala na sila?

"Hmm, kung ako po tatanungin niyo Mister Martè maganda nga po iyong suggestion ng board of members . Maganda iyong may bago sa paningin ng mga kliyente ...pero syempre hindi ko pa rin po tatanggalin iyong kung saan kayo naging kilala ...iyong trade mark na kung saan kayo naging kilala mula noon..."

He nodded and thanked me.

Hindi biro ang nakataya dito . Bilyon. Kaya para mas lalong mapagaan ang loob niya..

Sabi nga sa movie ng 'The Lucky One' ...

" I'm your next guy...I'll always stand by next to you... Kaya alam kong makakaya mo 'yan Sir. "

I entered his office trying not to wake him up. Unti-unti akong lumapit sa kanyang table para ilapag ang tubig at paracetamol. He looks so peaceful kapag nakapikit siya. Is it too much to ask na sana lagi na lang siyang tulog? Ang himbing at ang komportable kasi kahit nakasandal lang siya sa swivel chair niya.

Kamuntikan pang mahulog iyong puso ko sa kaba nang gumalaw siya . Not to be awaken but he just put his fingers on his right side of  his temple . Massaging it thoroughly . He then felt relax by doing it. Pero andoon pa rin iyong pagka kunot-noo niya.

Tutulungan ko na ba? ...
Bakit? Sinabi niya ba?
Hindi...eh pero....

Tumalikod na ako at handa nang lumabas nang bigla akong  hilain ng aking sariling mga paa papunta sa bandang likuran ng kanyang kinauupuan. Malamig sa opisina pero butil-butil ng pawis ang meron ako sa noo ngayon dahil sa kaba.

I inhaled exhaled at unti-unti kong nilapag ang aking mga daliri sa kanyang sentido . Maybe he felt my cold finger caressing his warm temple that's why he startled a little.

He sighed and his shoulder relaxed , then he groaned . I made also my finger massage up to his scalp. Slowly.  And then traveled down to his shoulder. And again, he sigh as he felt the pressure I put on his shoulder.

May extrang bayad to sir , ha?

It's been a years since the last time I did this. With my father , of course. Kahit na ngawit ako sa kakasulat sa school ay gustong-gusto kong mimasahe ang ulo ng tatay namin pagkatapos ng buong araw niya sa trabaho .It's my way of making him feel my love for him asides sa pagkakaroon ko ng high grades .

Hindi ko alam kung gaano na katagal akong minamasahe siya . I think he even fallen asleep already . I can hear his even breathing from where I'm standing.

I decided to stop and felt the sudden sting on my forearm , creeping down to my finger . Aah, nakalimutan mong mag stretch gaga!

Naramdam niya siguro ang pagtigil ko kaya sinubukan niyang hanapin ang mga kamay ko sa ulo niya habang nakapikit.

So I put back my hand and give him a massage on his neck. I smiled with satisfaction when he relaxed again from my touch. I manage to place my finger again on his temple.

But before I could start he put his hands on top of my hands . I panicked but didn't make a move. He remove our hands from his temple and placed it on his ....lips. He kissed it. Gently . Just one peck. The heat from his breath causes a thousands of electrifying feelings. Causing my both cheeks started to heat up. Jusmeo .Ano ba 'to?

"U-uhm... Mister Martè ?" I tried to remove my hands from his grip but ...he just made it more impossible for me.

"Philip , Fen.." He said with his sleepy husky voice . I can really feel his tiredness through his voice. God. Gusto kong mapaungol at magpadala sa nararamdaman ko ngayon , katanghaliang tapat Feny? Ngayon pa talaga? I can't even keep up now with my heart thumping so fast because of his intimate gestures .

Kinagat ko ang aking dila para matauhan ako sa ka-buangan ko.

Akala ko bibitawan niya na ang aking mga kamay pero inilipat niya lang pala ito sa kanyang dibdib.

"Fen..." I don't think I would like to hear any words from him. The thing that he do to me, it both feel good and bad at the same time. And I don't know what to do .

Inunahan ko na siya sa kanyang mga sasabihin bilang pag tanggal ko sa mga kamay niyang nakahawak sa aking mga kamay. I don't know but I suddenly felt relief .

I was about to turn my back when he grip my arm . I feel annoyed already na babalakin ko na sanang umangal sa kanya  nang...

"Why are you avoiding this , Fen?" I blinked a few times . Trying to get a hold on what he just said.

"You know there's something ,Fen...so why avoiding ?"

"Excuse me?" I finally had the guts to face him, "hindi ko maintindihan Philip, saan ako umiiwas?"

His face became stiff as he stare at me, " of course you'll say this. We're both adults here Fen so why don't we handle this like a proper and mature people here..." I started to panic when he begin to step forward . As I step back he would just go forward to me . And then until the glass wall hits my back and realized I'm trapped.

"It's inevitable , you felt it too..." He put his both arms on my each side showing that he really has the power here. He gently pull up my hand—forming it into a fist— he easily loosen it up until my own hand relaxed . He gently places it on his left side of his face...enough just for me to feel his perfect skin, his perfect jawline and his perfect lips.

Gusto kong maiyak sa sobrang kakaibang pakiramdam. It's hard to pin point kung masaya ba ako o malungkot. Basta ang alam ko lang, ang bawat oras na magkasama kami ...laging nagiging kompleto ang lahat.