Be Your Everything

f i f t y o n e

After a few hours in the sun, we were all sunburned and ready to head inside. We had dinner at a restaurant on the resort property and now, we're waiting around the fire pit while Brian and Derek work to get a fire going. Clarke and I have been passing time swapping tour stories since we're the only ones here that aren't really in the core friend group like everyone else seems to be.

"I'm surprised Ashton wasn't constantly cracking jokes," she says. "That one always has a zinger up his sleeve."

"I actually didn't see Ashton much while we were on the road." I don't want to tell Clarke that up until a couple of weeks ago, Ashton was basically my least favorite member of the band. I didn't want her to get the wrong idea of him based on a misunderstanding.

"Madame," Ashton walks over and hands me a glass of scotch, and I sigh with relief a little louder than I mean to. He chuckles but makes no comment as he sits down between me and Clarke.

"Thank you, kind sir." I say with a smile, and he nods, letting the slightly awkward conversation end.

"There you are, Lennie." Luke walks toward the bench that Ashton, Clarke and I are sitting on, but he stops a few feet away.

Why does he have to constantly act so awkward?

"I was talking to Clarke," I tell him, and he nods with his hands shoved in his pockets.

"Cool," he looks around the pit and spots a chair close to the bench I'm sitting on, "you wanna uh- want to come sit with me?"

"Okay," I quickly swallow the remaining whiskey in my glass and set the cup on the ground out of harm's way. Luke offers me his hand and pulls me over to sit on his lap, and I oblige while trying to hide my discomfort.

We're the only official couple on the trip, but the fact that both his and my ex are sitting here watching us makes me feel so awkward.

"Alright," Derek crosses his arms over his chest and smiles proudly. "We've got fire people!"

Everyone cheers and claps as he and Brian bow for their adoring fans. I take the opportunity to look over at Calum, but I regret it as soon as I see him.

He's half-heartedly clapping for his friends, but his eyes are on me. He makes no effort to hide the pain in his eyes as he looks at me, and I want more than anything to go and apologize for what happened this morning. It was so mean of Luke to mess with Calum like that.

"Len, what's up?" Luke asks, and I try to mask my recurring frustration with him.

"I'm good," I tell him, and he reluctantly accepts my answer. In an effort to change the subject, I ask, "when are you releasing the song?"

"What song?" He looks confused, so I quirk an eyebrow at him.

"...the song you wrote for me?" I say, my answer coming up more like a question.

"You wrote her a song?" Jo interrupts from across the fire pit, and all around us, the conversation comes to a halt. I didn't realize we'd were talking loud enough for Jo to have heard but now, everyone's eyes are on us.

I look at Calum and see that he and the rest of his band mates are all confused, which surprises me. Surely they know about the song; Ashton was singing it this morning on the plane.

"Uhhhh, yeah," Luke looks around at the group and nods, "I did."

"You have to play it for us!" Heather insists while wrapping her skinny twig arm around Michael's neck. He grimaces, but makes no effort to get away from her either.