the switch up

22

February 17, 2016

"Where are you going?" Harry asks as I pack up my things from my desk. I was taking a half day since I had gotten an appointment with my doctor, I had barely gotten any sleep since I took those home tests.

"I have a doctors appointment scheduled so I'm leaving a little early today," I tell Harry doing what I can to act completely normal. I didn't want to make this appointment a big deal, all I wanted was to lay low.

"Are you still sick?" Harry stands up as I swing my bag over my shoulder. His expression is full of worry and he had been constantly calling me to see if there was anything he could do for me when he learned I was puking my brains out.

"No, just my annual check up," I calm his worries even though mine is heightening at an alarming rate. No one knew about any of this, I was keeping everything a secret and I have never been a great secret keeper. I always ended up telling Talia or my mother if I was pressured enough to do so, and it didn't take much on their part to pressure me.

"Are you sure? There's nothing I need to know about?" Harry asks once again still worried I am not being one hundred percent truthful with him, and he was right. Before I even told him however I needed to know if this was a reality.

"No I am just going in for a wellness check, it's nothing serious." I lie and feel all that much worse about myself. I didn't like lying to Harry especially when he just wants to know if I am okay. Not to mention he had no clue about my history and current relationship with Zayn, I had to sign those papers. Hopefully, Zayn had signed the papers Liam drew up and I was the last person to seal the deal.

"Okay, call me after and let me know how everything went." He encourages engulfing me into a hug and my eyes widen with anxiety. I embrace him back and hope for the best for myself as well as everyone that could potentially be affected by this situation.

+

I sit nervously as a few women with swollen bellies busily read pre-natal packets and brochures. My stomach is twisting at the sight of it all and I am feeling extremely overwhelmed even though nothing has even happened yet. I take deep breaths and do what I can to think about the bright side of things, it helped to ease my anxiety.

I stare at the ceiling and try to form images out of the paint indents in the walls overhead. I had to distract myself since I was hearing even the littlest of sounds. The sound of a turning page, someone scratching the back of their necks, the tapping of a pencil from the receptionist. My guess this was the effect of my nervousness and sick feeling stomach. I shake my legs to try and disperse the nervousness that's running wild in my mind. My mind felt like Spongebob's when he forgot his name and there were mini Spongebob's in his head racing around and panicking.

"Madeline Vega?" A nurse with a short bob came out from the office with her clipboard in hand. My eyes avert up and I stand to walk towards her, I give her a nervous smile and let her lead me back inside the private practice.

I do the standard procedures like taking my height and weight which I internally cringe at. I should really hit the gym but knowing myself it's probably not going to happen. I was convinced I wasn't cut out for physical activities, not only was I not good at them but I didn't enjoy them either.

My blood pressure is taken along with everything else and the nurse who introduced herself as Lizzy set me up with my room. I sat on the exam table where I saw the stirrups set up on the chair. Dear lord did I hate just looking at them.

"Dr. Tomlinson will be with you shortly," Lizzy told me opening up the door and exiting. Leaving me alone once again to my own thoughts. I did the breathing exercises my mother had taught me, she taught me to do deep breathing to calm my anxiety and when done correctly it actually helped.