the switch up

38

May 24, 2017 (18 weeks)

"Welcome my beautiful human beings my name is Annie and I will be you instructor through these next couple of months." The room smells thickly of incense as it burned on the white wood table. Annie wears a black sports bra and gaucho pants that remind me of my six-year-old self.

"Why don't we go around the room and introduce one another so we can all get a little more comfortable with our peers! Let's start with you two, tell us your name and how far along you are!" Annie speaks in a more quiet voice but with her head set, the speakers make it sound more clear. Her red hair is draped down over her boobs in knots, I think she's in the process of creating dreads.

"Okay well I am Debbie and this is Dan and currently I am 20 weeks along and this is our 5th child!" Debbie looked like the definition of a soccer mom. Her blonde A-line haircut telling me more about her than her Ed Hardey hot pink bedazzled skull shirt.

I also wonder why the hell they are taking this class. This wasn't Debbie and Dan's first rodeo so why the hell were they still here? Some of the couples here looked like first timers like Harry and myself, so why did Debbie and Dan want to hang around a bunch of noobs?

"Debbie you are so strong, I feel so privileged to have you and Dan in my class!" Annie responds almost a little too enthusiastic for me. I didn't like when people were too happy, I know it's a weird thing to say but people who were too happy made me question what they were hiding behind the mask.

Sitting next to us was a couple who introduced themselves as Stephanie and Max two teenage parents who looked as though their parents were forcing them to be here. Stephanie chomped on her bubble gum while Max zoned on playing Flappy Bird, having a mini freak out whenever he bumped into a pipe. God was I thankful I was out of high school looking at the two of them.

It comes time for me to introduce Harry and I since it seemed like so far the wife or girlfriend did the introductions. Annie gives me an encouraging smile as I clear my throat and place a hand on Harry's lap.

"Hi I'm Madeline and this is Harry, this is our first baby so take it easy on us Debbie! And I am 4 months along." I get a few laughs from the class when I mention Debbie and feel a little more comfortable now around all these pregnant strangers.

"Do you know what you are having yet?" Annie asks me fiddling with her red dreadlocks. She sits Indian style in front of Harry and I letting me see the detail of her freckles that sprinkled over the bridge of her nose.

"We are having a girl," I answer Annie as she gives and over-exaggerated smile that I want to laugh at. I refrain from doing so and look over at Harry who is also fighting back laughs. I had a tendency to laugh at inappropriate times which was highly inconvenient considering it always got me in trouble. There's something about laughing when you aren't supposed to that makes things even more funny!

Harry and I were the human embodiment of Spongebob and Patrick bursting at the seams in Mrs. Puffs boating school. Harry finally has to put his head in his hands when I try to recreate Annie's smile she gave to the both of us when I told her we were having a girl.

"You are going to get us kicked out Mads!" Harry whispers choking on his laughter when I lean over to him and whisper Spongebob's famous saying.

"You know what's funnier than 24? 25!" I chuckle putting my face in my hands and feel my shoulders move up and down from my silent laughing.

"Madeline..." Harry is about to protest but stops and cackles quietly into his arms. Just the mere sight of Harry giggling was enough to break me so I keep my gaze away from him.

"Can I ask what is so funny? It's clear I have missed the joke," Annie arches a brow and taps her foot on the hardwood floors darting her eyes to Harry and I. I snicker in my lap clearing my throat as I look at Annie and contain myself long enough to respond.