the switch up

27

March 1, 2017 (6 weeks)

I sit in Dr. Tomlinson's office once again only this time I am accompanied with Harry on my right side and my mother on my left. I had been dreading this appointment all day at work and expressed this openly to Harry. I wasn't excited about cold jelly smeared across my stomach and then for a weird device to scan the inside of me.

"Can we just go home? I'm tired, I'm hungry, I'm genuinely uncomfortable, the list goes on really." I whisper to Harry since the lobby is empty besides us and the one pregnant women in the corner who was scrolling away on her phone.

"No, I know you are nervous but this won't be a big deal, you got this." Harry assured me as I then go to frown and lean my head on his shoulder. He inches his fingers over to my hand and intertwined his fingers with mine.

"Madeline Vega? We are ready for you." A nurse with long red curly hair greets me. She reminded me of the Disney princess Merida with the way her hair looked so radiant. It made me want to be a carrot top too with how she rocked her little freckles that scattered over her nose.

The three of us follow her back and I take my height and weight once again but tell Harry to close his eyes and not listen since I was already insecure about my weight. Arguing that I am being silly he finally complies and my mother does the same even though she finds it all silly like Harry.

Once my basic stats are taken we are taken into an exam room where I lay down on the cushioned seat. I inhale and exhale trying to keep calm. I was going to see the human growing inside of me, the realization of that is crazy enough on its own.

"Alright so I'm just going to have you lift up your top of me so I can put some of this gel on you." The nurse that looked like Merida explained and I clutch onto Harry's hand while doing what I am told with the other.

"Is it going to be cold?" I ask her and she giggles a little at me.

"It may be a little cold at first," she admits and pulls out a blue gel tube. Opening it she squirts some onto my stomach and I flinch a little at the sudden coldness against my stomach. I squeeze Harry's hand even tighter as the screen lights up on the monitor. I'm finding it really hard to relax as the the nurse presses the device to my stomach.

"See this isn't so bad, right?" Harry asked me and I continue to hold his hand tightly. A few minutes have passed and I've gotten a little more nervous and it only adds up when she switches off the monitor.

"Is everything alright?" I question clutching Harry's hand and most likely cutting off his circulation.

"Sometimes when it's early like this in the pregnancy it can be a little tough to find the heartbeat so we are going to switch gears a little bit." She hands me a wipe to clean off my stomach and I listen intently. I watch as she pulls out a white magic wand looking piece of shit.

"Woe... what is that? Where is that going?!" My fingernails dig into the faux leather of the exam chair. I keep focusing on my breath and do deep breathing but it's proving to be difficult with the way she is suiting up that magic wand.

"This is a Transvaginal Ultrasound probe, it's going to give us a better visual of the baby and it will be easier to detect the heartbeat." I hesitate and bring my legs closer together not being super excited to have that probe up my vagina.

"Are you sure you couldn't find the heartbeat before?" I am stalking as she hands me a medical gown to go change into. I grab it and gulp hard as she preps the probe.