the switch up

29

March 23, 2017 (9 weeks)

"The baby is fine Madeline!" My mother fights with me as we sit in Dr. Tomlinson's office. I had become increasingly sick and could barely keep anything down, I was just a little nervous this had something to do with the baby.

"Momma you can never be too cautious!" I argue as we wait for Louis to come in. I am perched up on the exam chair and anxiously waiting for Louis. Even though I wasn't due for another ultrasound for quite some time I had called his office hoping they could squeeze me in last minute.

"You are being extra! Do you know how sick I was with all of you kids? Especially Gabe and Cody! My first trimester I made a bed next to the toilet!" My mother explains as a shake my head at her. She doesn't know what I am going through... actually, maybe she does but I only want to make sure my little dinosaur is doing okay.

"Look, I'm just being cautious I want to make sure everything is okay with the baby." I explain to her even though again she thinks I am being "too extra" about the whole thing. I didn't see this as being extra I saw this as being proactive and plus maybe Louis could relieve me a little when it came to these violent vomit spells.

"Madeline! How is everything?" Louis enters the room and I smile at his presence. He has the gelled back his otherwise scruffy hair. He has defiantly gotten a haircut and it's a really good look on him then again he can rock any style in my opinion.

"Fine! How are you?" I ask him as he sits down on his rolling stool.

"I'm great, I understand that you are having increased morning sickness and have a few concerns about that." Louis addresses and I see my mother roll her eyes from the peripheral vision. I don't pay much mind to her and begin to explain my worries.

"I can't keep anything down! Even the smell alone of some food makes me sick, I'm just nervous that the baby is malnourished because I can't eat." I confess to Louis who has me lift up my shirt for yet another ultrasound. This time I was praying I didn't have to do the transvaginal ultrasound I really didn't want to have to endure that shit again.

"If anything you are going to be a little malnourished because anything you eat and digest will go to the baby first. The baby will receive all the nutrients before you will." Louis explains as he gels up my stomach and presses the detector to my stomach. My head turns to the monitor while Louis looks for my cute little dinosaur growing in me. I still couldn't get over the fact that something was growing inside me, it wasn't totally sticking with me. I was all surreal.

My eyes are alerted when I see the monitor. Something was different then it was before...

"Is that what I think it is?" I ask Louis snapping my head back to his as he looks back over at me.

"You've got another bun in your oven!" Louis tells me and I freeze up. It made sense that I was having twins since they ran in my family, the prime example being Cody and Gabe.

All the air is sucked from my lungs and I can't seem to find any oxygen. I am inwardly panicking and everything is happening in slow motion. My eyes stare at the two little dots on the monitor and everything else seems to be blocked. Louis touched my knee but I don't react but just go over the words in my mind. I'm having twins.

"Madeline? Are you okay?" Louis asks me but I only look over at him with watery eyes. My vision is blurred from the tears and I begin to hypervenalite. My lungs search for air and the reality hits me, I can't have twins. That was even more terrifying then having one baby.

"No, that can't be right!" I shout as my mother clammours over to me. Everyone is trying to gain my attention but I am stuck in my own head. "I'm not ready for that!"