the switch up

52

Rocking Scout in the rocking chair in her room I glance over at Zayn who leans up against the door with a little grin playing off his features. The mood is light and airy as we make casual conversation over what it was life having a baby versus being single and living it up.

I had called him here to break the news but decided to ease him into it. From what I had gathered over the thirty minutes he has been here was that he was working on moving on and getting over his deep rooted feelings for me. I didn't want to make the process worse by telling him he wasn't Scout's father but to some extent, it had to be done.

If I left him out of the loop it would only string him along and hurt him even more. Even though he never wanted to admit it, Zayn was sensitive. He didn't want to show it and went through extreme measures to mask it but it was easy for me to see that he was. There was no hiding from me.

"So I have to tell you something," I start as he unfolds his arms and comes to sit on the little ottoman in front of me. He scoots it away a fair distance and coaxes me to continue even though I am reluctant to say what I need to say.

"I don't want to set you back or make you feel even more down," Zayn cuts me off as he can see I am rambling. This was one of my worst traits if I had to pick one. If I could eliminate the fact that I ramble when I am nervous it would be much appreciated.

"Madeline you're rambling, I am a big boy I can take it," Zayn reminds me that he had matured through this experience. It took him a long time to realize he couldn't be a child forever but now he understood the concept. His facial hair is grown out along with his jet black hair that had been pushed back out of his face. His dark brown button eyes keep a concentrated gaze on me while I shy away after a few seconds.

"I got the test results back and umm..." I flicked my eyes to Scout who is tiredly whining. I knew she was tired but she insisted on fighting the sleep. Crinkling her little button nose she brought her little hands up to her face stretching out. "Well..."

"Come on Mads, just spit it out," Zayn replies as the truth sits like a lump in the back of my throat. I close my eyes and huff out a breath flashing eyes back at Zayns.

"Zayn you aren't Scout's dad," I blurt wanting to force it out into the open. It was hard for me to conjure up but I knew it was the right thing to tell him.

He recoils and averts his eyes downward while my heart engulfs itself. I feel a squeezing in my chest watching him receive the news that Scout wasn't his baby. I knew it hurt him because secretly I think he wanted Scout to be his.

"I mean part of me knew already but I was hoping.... it doesn't matter anymore." Zayn shakes his head and avoids eye contact with me while I try to soothe Scout who is unsettled.

"How did you know?" I ask him wondering how he knew that Scout wasn't his baby.

"She has Harry's lips and eye shape, hell she even has light brown hair and light skin it can't be any more obvious then that," Zayn tells me standing up from being bent over on the little ottoman. My heart ached a certain way for Zayn, even though he could be extremely annoying I never wanted to see him hurt. "But congratulations to the both of you, she truly is a beautiful baby."

"Thank you, where are you going? You don't have to leave," I see him inch towards the doorway after he gave me sadly toned congratulations. I stay rocking Scout seeing her calm down to the striking of her hair, she loved when you played with her little baby hairs.

"I do, I need to be alone for a little while to let myself accept everything. I need to move on from this right now, and I think to do that I need some time for myself to reflect on who I am and what I want." Zayn was swept over with sadness as he tells me about wanting desperately to move on from this. It cracked the heart he had beating in his chest and it was hard to watch him look back at me with those puppy dog brown eyes.

"I know it's hard right now but I promise you will find a girl that loves you as much as you love me. She is out there Zayn, you just have to find her," I tried to give as much uplifting advice as I could to try and lift a little burden off Zayn's mind. I didn't know if it was helping him but I only hoped it would. He needed to know that there was someone special out there for him, it just wasn't me.

"Thanks, Mads, I'll see you around," Zayn waves to me walking out the door with long strides. Even though he was hurting now I knew he was strong enough to pull through. I knew he would find that girl somewhere out there, he just had to open his eyes and look for her.

+

"Are you kidding me?" Harry is having trouble breathing, bent over with his face turning red from the laughter filling his lungs. I frown at him but can't hold the expression seeing him double over in laughter over what I had told him.

"It's not funny Harry!" I nudge him lightly as I sit up on his couch while Scout lays asleep in the bouncer across from us. Completely knocked out from the long day we had she breaths steadily and softly.

"Madeline, do you know how irrational that is?" Harry inquires choking in his laughs as I place my hands on my hips trying to annoyed but ultimately failing hearing Harry's contagious laugh.

"It is not irrational! What if one day you are walking and just walk straight off the Earth? Then you are just floating around in space and that is terrifying to think about!" I provide an explanation to Harry on my fear of space.

If that Planet Earth commercial hadn't come on this whole conversation wouldn't have even come about. Ever since I was little I was afraid of space, not even a picture of the earth was tolerable. I hated looking at Google Earth or pictures of planets, they all put me on edge.

"Mads you aren't just going to walk off the Earth! That's now how things work!" Laughter fills his lungs making me nudge him lightly. His laugh is contagious enough for me to join in after I read his facial expression that is turning pink.

"It's not even that funny!" I choke out from seeing Harry lose completely control over himself. His eyes water as I sniffle and grip back to my sanity.

"God I haven't laughed like that in awhile," He wipes is watery eyes while I lay my head in his lap and feel his hand through my black strands.

"Well I'm glad I can be your source of entertainment," I bite my bottom lip letting my smile tug at the ends of my lips.

"You are truly the craziest girl I have ever met," Harry glances down at me with a toothy grin that lights me up inside.

Everything had been unorthodox, to say the least in my life but somehow I wouldn't change any of it. I wouldn't go back and redo any of it because everything that happened lead me here. Right here with Harry's fingers tangled in my hair while he laughed uncontrollably about my fear of space.

This had been difficult and we had our ups and downs but somehow we loved each other enough to keep going. Some days I thought out relationship would crumble from the things that happened but it never did. We stayed with each other and never let go because what he had was too important to the both of us to just let it slip.

Some people believe we don't know what we have until it's gone but I believe we always knew what he had we just never expect to lose it. I know what I have with Harry and I'll never put myself on a path of potentially losing it.

"If I weren't crazy who would keep you entertained?" He leans down while I meet him half way and levitate my head up towards his mouth until our lips lock.

There was no one else I would have wanted to be with and take this journey with than Harry.

N. That is a wrap fam! What did you think about it? Don't be too upset it is over because if you didn't read my updates book then you wouldn't know that I am currently working on the sequel! The sequel is called "Parenthood" and it will be up for you all very soon if any of you are interested in that. Keep checking back for the first episode of that! Also on a different note is you are looking for something new from me check out the beginning of my new story "Foreign"!!!