Love and Desire(#5)

Chapter 34

Chapter 34

Nadine


"C'mon team, don't waste any time." I clapped my hands as I turned off the engine of our van. Nagpalit kami kanina ni Kuya Rads para makapagpahinga ito kahit saglit lang. Nagtulungan naman ang ilang kasamahan namin para maibaba ang mga gamit naming lahat.


"Nadie, we assigned on the same task again." Napalingon ako sa nagsalita at napangisi. It's Mia, sa ibang laboratory siya pero parang sister company rin ito ng pinasukan ko. Tinulungan naman niya ako sa gamit ko at sabay kaming naglakad papunta sa site namin.


"Where's Jenny?" I asked her. Pareho kasi sila ng pinagtratrabahuan at sa mga malaking assignment gaya nito, madalas ay pinagsasama sama nila kaming tatlo.


"Inside our tent, crying." She answered then shrugged. "Actually, her assistant's in-charge for this task. She's going crazy." Dagdag nito sa'akin. Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin pero nagkibit balikat lang ito.


Magsasalita pa sana ako ng tinipon na kami sa gitna upang sabihin ang mga dapat naming gawin. We are all six leaders, that has five members each. May tatlong tent ang bawat grupo.


Isa o dalawang linggo kami mamamalagi dito at kailangan naming mabigyan ng lunas ang mga taong naninirahan dito. Dito na rin kami pumwesto dahil hindi na kaya ng sasakyan namin ang mga malalaking bato na madadaanan namin. We will have three shifts and glad they paired my team to Mia's. Nang maipaliwanag na ang lahat tungkol sa kumakalat na sakit, they gave us a drink that would protect us from that virus.

"Mia and Nadine, you'll have to go there before four in the afternoon tomorrow. But for now, fix your things and take a rest. We'll be having a very toxic week. Good luck, ladies." Sabi ng OIC namin bago kami i-dismiss. Tumango lamang kaming dalawa rito at yumuko upang ipakita ang aming paggalang.


I faced Mia again. "Ba-bye phone, bye for now Chester." She waved at her phone before putting it inside her bag. I raised a brow when I heard my cousin's name.


Chester huh?


"You like him?" I asked. She just gave me a meaningful smile then turned into giggle. Napailing lang ako rito.


"Huwag 'yung lovelife ko ang problemahin mo. Sana tinawagan mo ulit si Kier bago ka pumunta rito dahil dalawang linggo mong hindi magagamit 'yan." Turo nito sa cellphone na hawak ko. Lumabi lang ako at nagsimulang maglakad pabalik sa itinatayong tent namin.


"Saka na Mia, kapag maayos na ang loob ko. Huling assignment ko rin naman 'to at baka balik pinas na ako pagkatapos ko dito." I sighed. "I'm hoping that this will help me clear my mind for the sake of our hearts." I smiled a bit. Tumango-tango rin ito.


"Mahal mo na rin siya?" She asked. Napatigil ako at napatingin sa langit. Huminga ako ng malalim kasabay ng pagramdam ko ng sagot ng puso ko.


I sighed.


"Mia, hindi naman ako iiyak kung hindi 'dba? Hindi naman ako maiinis kapag may kasama siyang ibang babae. At hindi ko naman siguro hahayaang ibigay ang buong sarili ko kung hindi 'dba?" Her eyes widened as her jaw dropped for my last sentence. Tumili ito pagkaraan ng ilang segundo at mahina akong sinabunutan. I covered her mouth using my hand and forced her to shut up.


"Nag-sex na kayo? As in you and him. On bed, naked? You mean, nakita mo na ang buong katawan niya? Nakita ka na niyang nakahiga at nakatirik ang mga mata sabay nganga?"


Eww.

I gave her adisgusted look by how she described a first hot night. Sumagi tuloy sa isipanko ang sinabi niya kaya agad akong napailing. Hindi naman siguro pangit angitsura namin ni Kier noong nakahubad---


What the hell?!


"Ah, nakakainis ka!" Pinalo ko ang braso nito at napapadyak. Bakit banapunta doon ang usapan naming dalawa? Seryoso kami kanina 'dba?


"Hmm..." She walks around me while eyeing me from head to toe.Nagtataka ko itong tinignan at umikot rin sunod sa galaw nito. "Or maybe,it's not love but your desire, for him." She nodded her head.


"What? My desire for him?" I asked her in disbelief. "Are yousaying that I only want his body---"


"Oh yeah?" We both turn our heads to the person who just came. I betshe's drunk based on how she walks and she's probably holding a half emptybottle of liquor that only God knows where bought it.


"Jennieca, what the hell do you think you're doing?!" Mia asked herwith full of authority. Jenny just ignored her then continued walking towardsme. Uminom ulit ito ng alak at tinignan ako ng masama.


"Jenny---"


"Don't Jenny me!" She pointed her finger on me. "You selfishbitch!" She shouted that gained all the attentions of our team mates. Miatried to stop her but she just pushed her away.


She pointed at me again.


"Poor Kier he fell so deeply in love with you. He sacrificed his owndreams just to see you smile. Just to see that fucking smile. And here you are,smiling and laughing with your best friend. How do you even manage that, huh?How do you manage to keep moving forward after you heard the big news?"She smirked. Agad kumabog ang dibdib ko dahil hindi alam ng lahat ng nanditoang katotohanan.


Nakangiti lang si Jenny sa'akin at pilit pa rin siyang pinapatigil ni Mia. Ishook my head but she just laughed.


"You don't deserve to be here, Nadine." She whispered. Her tearsstarted to flow. "Tapos ngayon nagpapakipot ka pa? Iba ka rin eh 'noh?Ibinibigay na nga lang niya ang buong buhay niya sa'yo, tumatanggi ka pa! Taposiiyak-iyak ka? Para saan? Wow ha, galing mo 'teh!" Punong-puno ngsarkastikong sabi nito sa'kin. Hindi ko man gustong mainis dahil alam konglasing ito ay hindi ko rin mapigilan ang pagtaas ng dugo sa ulo ko.


"Nadie, she's drunk. Please have more patience." Pakiusap ni Mia sa'kinat hinila niya si Jenny pero nagpumiglas ito at bumaling ulit sa gawi ko.


"Patience? Why? Natatamaan ba siya sa mga sinasabi ko? Totoo naman a! Anoba kasing alam mo sa pagmamahal ha at kung makaiyak ka ay parang ikaw angnawalan ng sobra? Sabihin mo! Ginamit mo lang naman si Kier 'dba? Dahil wala kanaman talagang awa! Mabuti nga rin at umabot siya hanggang dito!" She laughed.I held my fist and closed my eyes. I can even feel my tears at the corners ofmy eyes.


"Jennie---"


"I said don't fucking Jenny me!" She shouted at Mia who's stilltrying to calm her. "Isa ka pa eh! Pareho kayong dalawa! Paano niyo namanpala malalaman ang sakit? Puro sarili niyo lang ang iniisip niyo!" Iopened my eyes and I met her gaze.


"Ano? Nasasaktan ka? Mas nasasaktan si Kier! Galit ka? Mas galit ako samga katulad mo! Nahihiya ka na? Para sabihin ko, nakakahiya naman talaga angginawa mo! Tuwang-tuwa ka sa posisyon mo---"


She stopped babbling when I unconsciously slapped her. She looked surprised andI can feel my trembling hands. Her tears fall for the second time as well asmine.


"Nadie..."


"Nakita mo kung gaano ako naghirap para makarating dito, Jenny." Itold her. "Si Kier? Hindi naman ako humiling sa kanya na ibigay sa'kin angposisyon niya." I wiped my tears away.

"But still, you just used him!"


"Ano bang gusto mong iparating ha?" Napipikong tanong ko rito. Imoved step closer. "Magre-resign na nga ako 'dba? Iiwan ko ang posisyongito dahil hiyang-hiya na ako sa mga tinatawag na sakripisyo niyo! Iiwan ko na'to dahil hindi naman kasi sinabi na hindi ito para sa'kin. Hindi sinabi,Jenny. Walang sinabi. Wala siyang sinabi." Diniin ko ang bawat hulingsalitang lumabas sa labi ko.


"Hindi ko lang din maintindihan kung bakit nagawa ninyong magsakripiyopero hindi man lang ninyo magawang sabihin sa'min ang mga nandiyan sa pusoniyo. Hindi namin kasalanan 'yun Jenny. Kasalanan niyo 'yun. Hindi kamimanghuhula. At nakakaputangina ang manghula." I swallowed.


I started to walk away but I remembered something.


"Efforts are better than sweet words. As well as actions are better thanwords, but without any word, actions are still useless."


I told her then walked away.