Love and Desire(#5)

Chapter 35

Chapter 35

Nadine


Bumaba kami ni Mia kasama si Lance pagkatapos ng shift namin. Dinala ko ang cellphone ko para maghanap ng signal. Hindi pala ako nakapagpaalam kay kuya, baka tatawag siya bigla. Nagmessage na lang ako at agad bumalik sa site para makapagpahinga na rin kami.


"Sana naman ay okay na si Jenny ngayon. Tinurukan lang namin ng sleeping pills kagabi. Hindi ko nga lang alam kung 'yung gamot o 'yung alak ang dahilan kung bakit siya nakatulog." Umiling si Mia habang nagku-kwento. Hindi na ako nagsalita at nakinig lang rito.


"Hindi ko rin pwedeng pabayaan, baka magpakamatay. Nasa Paris pa naman sina Kuya Gelo at Ate Ai ngayon." She sighed. Tinignan ko lang ito pero hindi pa rin ako nagsalita.


I'm not mad at Mia, her words just got me offended. She's crazy and drunk yesterday but shouting and insulting me is too much. She's my friend---one of my best friend. I'm hoping that she'll be the one who'll protect me. Inaasahan kong siya ang masasandalan ko pero parang siya pa mismo ang nagdala sa'akin sa butas na maipapahiya ako.


"She just insulted my intelligence. That's the worst part of what she did." I whispered then continued walking. "Like hello? She's my best friend since we're still fetus. She knows everything and witnessed every struggle I conquered!" Napailing ako at napahinga ng malalim. Tinignan lang ako ni Lance at napayuko ng magtama ang mga mata namin.


Mia just sighed.


"I know I'm not in the position to interact. But I guess Jenny's suffering from depression. She only sees herself as Kier and you as her ex-fiancee." He shrugged. He cleared his throat so I looked at him again but he did a sideway glance to Mia who's just watching us.


"What I'm only pointing out is that she should learn to solve her problems alone. Broadcasting it to everyone won't help you but it may only turn things to worst." I rolled my eyes. Nagkatinginan ang mga 'to pero hindi ko pinansin ang mga binibigay nilang tingin sa'akin.


"But anyway, as long as she won't go near me again, I can still control myself." I assured them before walking back to our site.


Tahimik ang buong lugar pagdating namin. Bukod sa madaling araw na, tiyak na pagod ang lahat dahil sa marami naming ginawa ngayong araw. Nagpaalam na rin sa'akin ang dalawa at bago ako pumasok sa tent ko, napatigin muli ako sa mga bituin sa langit.


I smiled. "Sana, mahanap pa rin natin ang pagmamahal sa mga puso natin pagbalik ko." I stated while staring at the shining stars. "Madaya ka Kier, sinabing ayoko ng sinungaling at naiiwan mag-isa e." Dagdag ko. Ramdam ko ang agad na pagbuo ng mga luha sa mga mata ko. I blinked to prevent myself from crying.


I sighed then counted one to three.


"Tama naman ang sinabi ko kay Jenny 'dba? Hindi ka naman kasi nagsabi. Tinulak mo ako palayo sa'yo." I smiled sadly. "Hindi mo man lang tinanong kung gusto ko bang itulak mo ako o manatili na lang kung saan tayo dating naka-pwesto." I bowed my head as tears began to flow from my eyes.


"Kier kasi mas mahirap na ngayon, may mga bagay na pumagitna na sa'tin. Hindi gaya noon na pwede mo akong hilain lang palapit sa'yo. Kier kasi...gusto kong dalawa tayong nandito. Handa naman akong lunukin ang pride ko, basta magkasama tayo." Tumawa ako ng mahina. Para akong baliw pero ngayon lang ako nakapagsarili at ilabas ang mga saloobin ko na walang sinuman istorbo.


"Kier, hindi lang naman 'to si Nadine lang. Dapat kasi magkasama tayo. Hindi pwedeng may baby, pero walang babyboo. Hindi rin papayag si July na walang January. Team tayo 'dba? Kaya sana...noong tinutulak mo ako paangat, sana sumabit ka para maiangat rin kita." I cried harder. Naupo ako sa bakanteng upuan sa harap ng tent ko at tahumik na umiyak.


"Kier naman..."


"I thought you're tired but you still have the energy to cry." Lance came in and I didn't protest when he sat beside me and rubbed my back, comforting me into his most relaxing words.


-------


One week passed and my workaholic self's back. Unti-unti kong nakakalimutan si Kier dahil sa dami ng dapat naming gawin sa mission namin. Hindi rin kami nagusap ni Jenny ulit. Pinaglayo ang dalawang tent namin at nakipag-swap siya sa isang member ng day shift para hindi kami magsamang dalawa.


"Hey, Nadine. You should eat now." Liningon ko si Lance saglit bago ko itinuloy ang paggawa ng mga gamot. I gestured him to just put the tray on the table near me but he didn't move. He just sighed.


"I need to finish this one. I'll just eat later." I told him. Hindi ito nagsalita at lumapit sa'akin. He turned my chair around that made me face him. Nagtataka ko itong tinignan pero tinaggal niya lang ang glasses sa mata ko at ipinatong ito sa lamesa.


"It's already three in the afternoon. And in case you already forgot, we have to exchange shifts at four." He played with my hair. I gave him a death glare before standing up. I gave glances to the food but I already lost my appetite. Binalik ko ang tingin sa mga gamot at sinalin sa test tube ang huling batch ng ginawa ko bago ko ayusin ang mga gamit namin.


"I'll eat after shift. I need to get myself ready for later." Paalam ko at maglalakad na sana palayo ng bigla niyang hilain ang braso ko.


"Ouch!"


"Kier won't like it if you won't eat on time." He said in a low voice. Napatigil ako dahil sa narinig kong pangalan. Tinitigan ko ito at unti-unti kong hinila ang braso ko.


"And you're talking about Kier now, huh?" I stated with a bit sarcastic. The last time I checked, he's mad at Kier for unknown reason and now, he's using him for me to eat my meals.


Hindi ito nagsalita at napayuko na lang. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako biglang nainis at gusto ko itong sampalin.



"Don't you dare to use his name again--"


"You know I have feelings for you, right?" He cut me off with his questions. Natigilan ulit ako at nakipagtitigan rito pero nauna rin akong umiwas pagkatapos ng ilang segundo.


Narinig ko ang paghinga niya ng malalim at naglakad sa harapan ko. Hindi ako gumalaw at hinayaan siya ng hawakan niya ang aking baba upang iangat ang aking ulo.


"I loved you since the first day that I saw you." He chuckled but his eyes are giving me a sad expression.


"Lance, I thought that we are friends---"


"Shh..." He gestured me to shut up. "Let me tell you this now because I might lose my courage again." He pinned my stubborn strands of hair at the back of my ear.


"I tried to get rid of it but love isn't as easy as it was spelled." He nods his head. "I wanted to use you against Kier but cupid really knows when he'll attack you with his bow. And that's it. Love finds its way to my heart." He let out a soft laugh. Hindi ko pa rin ito maintindihan kung bakit niya sinasabi lahat ng 'to o kung paano kami napunta sa usapang 'to.


"I'm a selfish man until I started to hang out with you. I wanted Kier to suffer, but the pain bounces back to me every time I saw you with your sad and lonely face." He added. Naguguluhan pa rin ako rito.


"I wanted him to have his regrets. I should be happy. You're mad at him now."


"I don't understand." Umiling ako. "Why?"


"Because he is Kier. He's the top list and the president's favorite grandson. Despite of being a bastard's son, he still has you and our whole clan. And I just hate it. I hate how they compare me to him. I hate it, Nadie."


"What?"


"He's my cousin. And guess we care for the same stubborn lady." He chuckled a little then pulled me for a hug.