Don't Believe Everything You Read On the Internet

Chapter 10

        Joker walked to his scheming desk to come up with his new plan. He had a few ideas in mind, but none of them really brought it home. Still, there must be a way to bring everyone's respect back to him after everything that had happened. Blow up the town center? Blow up the bank? Blow up Wayne Manor (heck, that could work)? BLOW UP GOTHAM CITY? Actually, that might be going a bit too far. Maybe he shouldn't blow anything up and try something different. That would depend on who he was targeting: Batman or Gotham. If he was targeting Gotham, then it would have to be something that put the entire city in peril. If he was targeting Batman, then Joker would have to come up with a way to target Batman's personal life in some way. While Joker really wanted to get revenge on Batman, he decided on Gotham, for that was the main audience that he was trying to impress.

             Then he thought, what if there was a way to do both? A way to show Gotham that the two weren't dating, yet still affect them in some way. He came up with a brilliant idea that could stun everyone in the city! Not only that, but he already had all of the equipment necessary. He got out some blueprints and began to work on his glorious creation of an idea. Once in a while Harley would pop her head into his office and worry about his sanity, but she decided to keep her mouth shut.

.....

        When twenty minutes finally ran out, the pizza man arrived at the door of Wayne Manor and knocked several times. Alfred happened to be the one to answer the door, and was surprised at the pizza in front of him. He hadn't recalled ordering any pizzas, yet here one was. Bruce must've ordered one without him knowing. That seemed like something that he would do. Alfred slipped the pizza man $20 and walked over to Bruce's room. He lightly tapped on the door.

      "Master Bruce, your pizza arrived," Alfred informed Bruce Wayne.

       "Just leave the pizza at the door, I'll get it in a bit," Bruce called back.

        Alfred was aware of what was happening. Bruce had something on his mind, and he was afraid to talk about it. Even if Alfred confronted him about it, he would deny that there was anything going on. In fact, Bruce would keep denying it until that thing on his mind would ultimately threaten Gotham City. Alfred was scared that this would be the case, so he ignored what Bruce had told him and he walked in anyway.

        "Alfred! I told you to leave it outside!" Bruce whined, wanting privacy.

       "Bruce, I there's something on your mind. I don't want you to be afraid to tell me," Alfred said.

         "Pft, there's nothing on my mind. How do I know there isn't anything on your mind?" Bruce asked nervously.

       "You're sweating," Alfred pointed out.

       "It's really warm in here!" Bruce told the butler.

       "Sir, it's 60 degrees. You always tell to me to keep it cool in here."

       "That pizza was really spicy."

        "You haven't eaten any of it yet."

      "I-I, I don't know Alfred. You would just think that I was crazy if I told you."

      "Sir, you dress like a bat for a living. I already think you're crazy. I just choose to not let it affect my opinion on you."

      "I guess, just try not to judge."

     "I'd judge you less if you just told me."

    "I've been... thinking about the Joker."

   "Well, sure. Haven't you been thinking about the Joker for years now?"

    "Yeah, but not in the same way. Now I'll just think about random things about him. Like the way he laughs or how he applies extra lipstick whenever I'm around. Weird, I know, but it just sort of happens," Bruce admitted.

      Alfred only chuckled. He had seen this happen to Bruce before, just not with someone so familiar. Alfred thought how sweet it was, but understood why Bruce was hesitant to tell him. He and Joker had a very complicated relationship, and it would be pretty hard to overlook all of their bumpy spots. Then again, Joker was pretty excited for that date, and it was clear that he liked how Bruce looked in the suit. Alfred wanted the two to be happy, but he knew that he would just have to let the two sort it out on their own.

      "Tell you what, Master Bruce. How about we go see if Richard wants a slice of pizza and then maybe you can go see if the Joker's up to anything tonight," Alfred suggested.

     "Thanks, Alfred," Bruce said before picking up the pizza and going to find his son.

.....

       Joker didn't realize how many things he needed for his plan to work. So, that night he went to go steal from a Home Depot to get some of his items. The problem was that he didn't visit it often, so he had to use the map of the city. Unfortunately, the map was super confusing, and he couldn't ask anyone for directions because he was a criminal. He'd just have to try to navigate it on his own. He walked across the rooftops, trying to find the familiar orange sign. It was very dark outside, so he had to stand next to a streetlight to see what the map said. Sadly, this left him out in the open for unwelcome visitors to show up. Batman snuck up on him while he was trying to find where he currently was.

      "If it helps, we're on West 12th Street," Batman offered. Joker swerved around, a look of surprise in his eyes.

       "What are you doing here? Planning on shooting me in the back again?" Joker asked angrily.

     "Calm down, I just wanted to see what you were doing. Besides, do you really not have Google Maps?" Batman asked, smirking.

       "As a matter of fact, I don't rely on technology for everything," Joker stated.

      "Really? Where are you going?" Batman asked.

       "Home Depot," Joker responded, slightly shrugging.

       "It's about one mile down to the east," Batman said, looking off of his phone.

     "Huh, that really is helpful," Joker replied, turning his head to also look at the phone.

      "Told ya," Batman said, his smirk only growing.

         Joker had to hold back from blushing. He almost felt bad for what he was planning on doing to him, but Batman was the only who had humiliated him. Then again, he had helped him escape from the Asylum, which wouldn't have led him to where he was now. He wasn't sure what he wanted, but he knew that being a villain was more important to him than his feelings for Batman. He just had to suck it up for a few more days and then he'd be seen as a threat again. The thought was enough for him to make it through awkward small talk with his enemy.

     "Well, I'll see you around, Batsy," Joker said, turning towards the east.

    "Hang on there, Joker. How do I know that you won't steal anything that you can get your hands on in there?" Batman asked, realizing what would probably happen.

      "You don't know that, now, if you excuse me, I need to go pick up a screwdriver," Joker responded. Batman grabbed Joker's collar before he could make a run for it.

      "Wait a second, here's $45. Go knock yourself out," Batman wished Joker, giving him a thumbs up.

        Joker didn't know what to say. Batman had just given him free cash without asking for anything else. Before Joker knew what he was doing, he gave Batman a quick peck on the cheek. Batman was now the one who was speechless. He rubbed his cheek softly, feeling where it had just been kissed. He was taking long breaths to keep his heart from beating too fast.

       "Thanks Batsy, I think I might owe you one," Joker thanked Batman, giving him a quick wink.

      Batman waved goodbye, not even noticing that his cheek was now smeared with red lipstick.