Don't Believe Everything You Read On the Internet

Chapter 41

          Richard woke up and rubbed his eyes. He went to his closet and pulled out an orange sweater. About 70% of his closet was sweaters, with the rest being jeans and sparkly clothing. He then chose out a pair of jeans and prepared to start the day. When he opened the door, there was a gift basket there. The boy was surprised, seeing as how this never happened to him. Alfred would always show his love by treating him with kindness and doing random acts of love. Batman/Bruce would show his love by letting Robin do the stuff he liked to do at every opportunity. Richard looked at the tag to see who what it was from.

        Dear Kiddo,

I'm sorry if I woke you up last night. If I didn't, then assume I'm just being nice. Also, if there happens to be food missing from the kitchen, I don't know who did it. To make up for this occurrence that I definitely had no part in, Harley and I made you a gift basket.

-The One and Only Joker

       Richard's face lit up with happiness. He had heard the sound of someone singing outside their house, but the walls were made strong materials, so it didn't harm his sleep too bad. The fact that Joker was the one singing was kind of adorable. Soon, the boy's desire to find out what was in the basket took over him and he pulled out the green, purple, black and red tissue paper to see what was inside. There was a small figurine of a robin that was probably bought in some old and fancy antique store, a bag of mini Three Musketeers bars, a small lego set (which started to give Richard an existential crisis), a bottle of glitter, and some lipstick. The whole thing looked like it cost about $30, which is more expensive then the boy expected. He didn't really know what to do with the lipstick, but he knew that he would use everything else. Still, how did the whole lego thing work? Were they legos or humans? He ended up going to the kitchen before he dwelled on the subject any longer. When he entered the kitchen, Alfred was naturally preparing breakfast.

        "Look, Grandpa! Joker and Harley gave me a gift basket!" Richard told Alfred.

         "Oh, so they gave you something, too. I bet that whatever you got was better than the loofa they gave me," Alfred rationalized.

          "I'm sorry Alfred, you must've felt so embarrassed."

         "Actually, I've been in need of a new loofa for a while."

         "Well, they gave me a bit more than a loofa."

         "And what is that?"

         "There was a figurine of a bird, a toy set, some candy, glitter, and makeup for some reason."

        "I'd say that they know you pretty well, then."

       "Besides the makeup, yeah, they do!" Richard said excitedly.

       Bruce walked into the kitchen and yawned. He reached into a cupboard and grabbed a coffee mug. The fact that he was awake this early in the morning was a surprise, but the fact that there was a large grin was even more of a surprise. Sure, he still looked tired, but he looked happy. Ever since he adopted Richard he had smiled more often, yet smiling in the morning wasn't something that had probably ever happened since he was very young. Richard and Alfred shared curious glances with one another. Alfred decided to speak up for the two.

       "What's with the smile, Master Wayne?" Alfred asked.

      "Oh, nothing," Bruce replied, his smile not faltering.

     "You don't smile in the morning for nothing," Richard pointed out worriedly.

     "I think you guys are reading too much into this," Bruce told the other two, shrugging. Alfred suddenly had an idea as to what was making him so happy.

        "Master Wayne, might I see your cowl, sir?" Alfred asked, raising an eyebrow.

     "Uh, I put it in the wash," Bruce responded, his cheeks reddening with embarrassment.

       "You're saying this to the person who does your laundry for you," Alfred said to his surrogate son.

         "Why would you even put it in the wash in the first place?" Richard asked as well.

       "Okay, okay, I admit that I didn't put in the wash. I took it off because.... *in whisper* it's covered in stains," Bruce admitted, the last part in whisper.

      "I'm sorry, what sir?" Alfred asked.

      "I think he said that it was covered in stains, but he didn't say what the stains were of," Richard interpreted.

     "What are the stains of then, Master Wayne?" Alfred asked.

      "You'll find out when you do my laundry," Bruce insisted.

      "Is it lipstick perhaps?" Alfred guessed.

      "WHAT? No, why would you ever think that, it's crazy," Bruce stumbled with his words.

     "You and Joker are dating now, so why are you so embarrassed?" Richard asked.

     "I don't know, I guess that I was afraid you guys would tease me about it. You know, like you two are right now?" Bruce told them, slightly annoyed.

      "We aren't teasing you. Heck, we might've teased you even less if you had been honest from the start. Besides, the two of us already knew that Joker was here last night," Richard informed his father.

        "Wait, really? How?" Bruce asked.

       "He gave me a gift basket and he gave Alfred a loofa!" Richard said excitedly.

       Bruce nodded, as he took in the information. He opened up a drawer to get some of his coffee beans, only to find that they were completely missing. Bruce frowned and went to go get his backup coffee beans, yet those were missing as well. Suddenly, even without his coffee, he started to move as fast as he possibly could. Alfred and Richard watched him with extreme concern.

        "Are you alright, sir?" Alfred asked.

        "My coffee, it's gone," Bruce responded quickly.

          "The cereal was as well. My entire breakfast has consisted of Three Musketeer bars," Richard told Bruce.

          "Well, seeing as how Joker was already here last night, and he is a criminal after all, I assume he did it," Alfred debunked.

        "That can't be, we were with each other for most of the night making out and-uh-pillow fighting," Bruce cut himself off, remembering that Richard was there.

       "Maybe another criminal snuck in and took it," Alfred suggested.

       "I say that we suit up and get our food back!" Richard offered, pumping his fist.

      "Eh, I didn't have any other plan for today," Bruce said to his son, going to get a glass of milk instead.

       Richard clapped his hands in excitement as he went to fetch his Robin costume.

Author's Note:

So, I know that I've been pretty lazy when it comes to writing, but my creative juices weren't really flowing while I was writing this chapter, so if this seemed less than thrilling, that's why. Other than that, enjoy your reading!