Don't Believe Everything You Read On the Internet

Chapter 31

Joker had 16 different suits to choose. This was after two elimination rounds, too. Batman was a little concerned about why Joker was taking too long, but he remembered that he had the same energy towards dressing up. The hero was starting to realize how much they had in common ever since they started dating. They really were great for each other. Though they might've seemed like polar opposites at first glance, they had a lot in common. Still, Batman didn't know if he had ever spent that long in a dressing room before. He felt like checking in on his boyfriend, but he didn't want to appear creepy. After a while, he couldn't stand it. He walked over to the dressing room door and knocked on the door.

"Hey J-Bird, are you almost done in there?" Batman asked, startling the clown inside.

"Yeah, I just have to choose between a tux and two suits," Joker responded.

"We're only going to brunch, you don't need to wear a tux," Batman told the Joker. Moments later, a tux flew out the door and fell into a humungous pile of tuxes and suits.

"Since you're such the expert on outfits, which suit should I wear?" Joker asked, holding out two suits from behind the door.

"I wore one of those to a middle school dance, Joker."

"Really? Which one? I want to wear that one."

"Joker, no."

"Fine. Still, which one is it?"

"The blood red one. I was going through a phase."

"I'm not totally convinced you aren't finished with that phase."

"That was my red phase, now I'm in a black phase."

"Well, I bet that you look amazing in red. Actually, I'd really like to see you wear the suit."

"I don't fit in it anymore. That was when I was shorter and chubbier."

"Huh, no wonder I fit in it so well."

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that."

"No problem. I'm very aware that I could afford to lose a few l-b's."

"L-b's? Libs?"

"Pounds. Yeesh, and you call yourself world's greatest detective."

"Shut up and put on your suit."

"If you say so, smartie pants."

"Ugh, it's a good thing you're so cute."

"You say that as if I'm not already aware.

Batman rolled his eyes and walked back to the Batcave's main floor. He asked the computer to play a mixtape of his to keep him occupied while he waited. He wondered why Joker was taking so long to just put on his suit. When Joker walked out, it was clear why. Joker had also fixed his makeup, combed out his hair, and by the smell of it, put on cologne, as well as put on the suit. The clown wasn't wearing the jacket that came with the rest, and he had rolled up the sleeve of the shirt underneath. His casualness made him look very nice. Batman blushed a bit and cleared his throat.

"Are you ready to go?" the vigilante asked.

"Yes, I am. Do you want me to drive since I'm the one choosing where we're going?" Joker offered.

"Look, I love you, but I'm not letting you anywhere near my steering wheel."

"What? You've seen me safely drive a car before."