Don't Believe Everything You Read On the Internet

Chapter 21

        On the night before Batman and Joker's meetup at Wayne Manor, Barbara was laying in the bed in her guest house. She was enjoying a book that someone at work had recommended, and while it was good, it could've been better. So, she grabbed out her favorite book from her bag and started to read, even though she had read it a thousand times before. It had been her favorite book since she was about 14, when was about the time that she realized that she wanted to continue her father's legacy. With a nice breeze coming through the window, a comfy room to stay in, and a good book in hand, it seemed like there couldn't be a more perfect night.

         Someone called Barbara at that moment. The officer's phone had been left on the stand next to her bed. When she checked the number, it wasn't a recognizable one, so she ignored it. The person called again, so Barbara knew that it wasn't a robotic call. Still, it could be a creep that had just looked up her number online. Well, it would be rude if she didn't at least see who it was.

    "Hello, this is Barbara Gordon," Barbara answered the phone.

     "This is the Mattress Store, how's it going?" someone asked. The voice was strangely recognizable, and it wasn't because Barbara had been to the Mattress Store recently.

      "Joker? Is that you?" Barbara asked, disgusted by the clown's immature attitude.

       "Oh my, you really are your father's daughter. Third best detective in Gotham City by far," Joker added.

         "What do you want? Are you planning on a ransom?"

          "That's a really good idea, now that I think about it."

        "Please, I'm just trying to have a calm night, Joker."

       "Ooh, are you on a date?"

       "What? Where did you get an idea like that?"

        "I don't really know. Hey, would you mind being the priest at Batsy and I's wedding?"

        "Huh? Are you drunk?"

        "Drunk in love, maybe," Joker answered, snickers from the other villains, who had been listening to the conversation. The entire thing had been on speaker without the officer knowing about it.

       "Joker, is there someone else with you?" Barbara asked angrily.

        "Yeah, me," Catman said, doing a pretty good Batman impression. The rest of the villains burst into laughter. Barbara angrily hung up, annoyed that these criminals had called her just to humiliate her. Didn't they know that she could easily throw them in jail if she wanted? They were barely capable at times, and Barbara had ten times more training that any of those bad guys could ever dream of. Still, Barbara decided to just take a few breaths and return to her book. After all, this was the reason that she had taken a break in the first place.

..... 

        A couple days later, Poison Ivy sat on the couch in the lair's living room, looking through a home living magazine. She only ever bought issues when spring rolled around and it became plant themed. Ivy loved reading about the different types of flowers that would bloom around that time. When she found really pretty ones she would try to recreate them with her powers. Once in a while, she would also put them in her hair to match her outfit. Then again, she always wore green, so it was usually just a white rose.

         "Hey Ivy, found any good flowers?" Harley asked, skating over to her 'friend.'

         "This tiger lily is very nice. Actually, it might look good on you," Ivy complemented Harley.

       "You're such a flatterer," Harley responded, waving her hand.

      "So, do you not have any better things to do than talk to me, Harley?"

        "Not really, but I like hanging out with you, so I don't mind."

       "Thanks, but you normally hang out with Joker. I just assumed you two would be causing havoc somewhere."

          "He's been texting Batman all day, and I didn't want to bother him."

         "Yeesh, the two might as well feed each other cherries at this point."

         "I still don't get why you don't want the two to be together. They're so cute!"

           "More like odd. Think about it, the two have fought each other for about 75 years, and they suddenly love each other! I just don't see this working out."

       "You've had to flirt with Batman in the past before, too. Why is this different?"

        "I-I'm trying not to do stuff like that anymore."

       "Why not?"

     "I found someone else, let's just say."

     "Oh my god, who is it?" Harley asked, excitement sparking in her eyes.

      Ivy didn't want to answer the question. Mostly because she knew Harley wouldn't like the answer. The two had a strong friendship, and Ivy didn't fracture it by telling her how she really felt. She decided to change the subject before Harley started demanding answers. Ivy just brushed off what she was thinking about, and started a new conversation.

      "Did you hear the soundtrack for that new musical?" Ivy asked.

        "You'll have to be a bit more specific, Ivy."

        "You know, the one based on War and Peace with Philippa Soo."

         "Sorry, haven't heard of it. You were the one that liked musicals so much, remember?"

     "Well, I can see that now."

      "I did like that one with Lin-Michelle Meerkat."

       "First of all, it's Lin-Manuel Miranda. Second of all, there's three, be more specific."

       "Three? How busy is this guy's life?"

       "Pretty busy, I guess."

        "Let me guess, this boy that you like is into musicals."

       "It actually isn't a boy..."

          Harley gasped, which made Ivy a little nervous. Luckily, the look on Harley's face wasn't one of disappointment, which made Ivy feel a little better. She was lucky that she had Harley as her friend. Ivy would've hung out with one of the other girl villains, but they seemed to be the type that either dressed as an animal or was part animal, which made Ivy feel awkward considering who they were fighting. Then again, they might not be able to fight Batman anymore with Joker and him dating. It was weird to think about, but if that did happen, then Ivy would have Harley at least. She always seemed to be there, whether Ivy wanted it or not. Honestly, Ivy didn't mind.

Author's Note:

Okay, so I realize that this was more of a Harlivy chapter than it was a Batjokes chapter. I hope you guys don't mind. Also, sorry for the whole musical thing. I was just listening to The Great Comet while I was writing this, so it sort of just found it's way in there. The next chapter will be the date, I swear!