Don't Believe Everything You Read On the Internet

Chapter 24

Okay, let's rewind a bit. Earlier that day, Harley had told Ivy about Joker and Batman's date. Ivy had to fight back from grimacing at the thought. The two obviously didn't belong together, so why hadn't they realized it yet? Chances were that Batman would break up with Joker, and suddenly Joker wouldn't fight crime because he'd be too busy eating ice cream in his room and crying. That, or Joker would be so lovestruck that he would suddenly give up on his original job and become Batman's lackey. Ivy knew that either one of the options wouldn't be good if she wanted to keep her job, but she really didn't know if she could stop it at this point. There had to be something that she could do. So, she set out to do whatever she could to make sure the date ended in disaster.

"Barbara Gordon, who's speaking?" the other side of Ivy's phone said.

"This is Poison Ivy. I would like to talk to you about Batman and Joker's date tonight," Ivy answered with as much confidence as she could.

"This better not be another prank call, because I am the commissioner, you realize."

"No, I was actually asking if you wanted to sabotage it."

".... I'm listening."

"I know that you want them to not date as much as I do, but unfortunately, I'm not exactly the best at coming up with plans or strategies."

"Well, do you know where this date is taking place?"

"Harley told me that it was at the karaoke bar a couple of blocks from the motorcycle rental."

"Perfect, I'll come up with a plan if you can come pick me up from my beach house."

"Great, tell me the directions and I'll get you as soon as I can."

Barbara told Ivy where her beach house was, and Ivy was on her way. She drove in her old convertible, going a couple of miles over the speed limit. Barbara packed up some of the important stuff she had brought with her, and waited by the door, reading from her book. While she was reading, her father walked up next to her with a concerned look in his eyes. They were supposed to stay there for two more days, so he wasn't sure why his daughter looked like she was already leaving.

"Honey, we're still staying here for a few more days," Jim said to his daughter.

"Dad, something's come up and I need to get back to Gotham. Don't worry, after tonight, I'll come back and spend the last day with you," Barbara assured her father.

"I told you that this vacation was supposed to get your mind off of work!"

"I know, Dad, but this is important. It could contradict the future of Gotham City!"

"Can't you deal with it in three days?"

"No, it has to be tonight."

"Why? What's so important that you can't be with your father?"

"You'll think it's silly if I tell you."

"I already think it's silly that you aren't staying!"

"Trust me, this is very important business."

"I thought being with your father was also important."

"It is, but this is my only chance to prevent a great disaster. I'll have plenty of chances to be with you."

After Barbara said this, Ivy's convertible pulled up in front of the beach house. Barbara gave one last apologetic look to her father before getting into the car. Jim only sighed and walked back into the house, his heart sinking. He just wanted to be able to hang out with his daughter like he used to, but it seemed like she didn't feel the same way. The thought made him wish that he had never made her commissioner in the first place.

.....

"So, I was thinking that we could strike them when they're alone. First, you'll wrap a vine around Batman's ankle and tug him to the ground. Next, I'll send Joker into an unconscious state and take him to Arkham Asylum," Barbara explained to Ivy.

"What do I get from this?" Ivy asked, rethinking asking help from Barbara.

"You could punch him a couple of times. Just don't kill him, okay?"

"How about I smash his face into the ground a few times?"

"Again, anything but killing him."

"I do want to give him a few bruises at least. He did make me kiss a penguin, after all."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Sorry, I forgot that you weren't there."

The two finally reached Gotham City. They had decided to drive to Wayne Manor and ask Alfred if Batman had already left for the date. They would have Barbara do this, seeing as how she was Alfred's friend and all. Ivy would also have to park her car outside the fence, too. It took them about three hours to get there, so the sun was setting at that point. Ivy wished Barbara luck as she walked to the door and rung the doorbell. Alfred, the man of the hour, answered the door.

             "Barbara, it's nice to see you," Alfred greeted.
          
           "You two. Hey, do you know where Batman is right now?" Barbara asked, hoping that she didn't sound suspicious.

             "He's actually talking with the Joker right now in the backyard," Alfred replied, not taking in if the question was odd or not.

               Perfect. Now, all Ivy and Barbara had to do was crash their date. Barbara thanked Alfred and walked back to Ivy's car. She told Ivy the good news and they sneaked to the backyard. Everything seemed to be going so well, until they found out they weren't alone. Robin and Harley were spying on the date in the same spot that Ivy and Barbara had planned to attack. When they attempted to retreat, Robin spotted them with a smile showing on his face.
             "Wow, I didn't know that you guys wanted to watch the date, too!" he exclaimed excitedly.

               "Man, Ivy. All this time I thought that you didn't want them to be together, but you actually cared so much that you peaked in on their date!" Harley told her friend, who was standing there with a frown.

            "Do you guys know if there's a way to get closer to them?" Barbara asked, playing along.

             "Please, if you get any closer than you're sure to be noticed! You should just play it safe and stay back here," Robin said to his friend as if it were 100% clear.

                 "You can sit by me if you want, Ivy," Harley offered. Ivy did really want to spend time with Harley, but at the same time, she needed to stop the date. Hesitantly, she gave Robin a quick little kiss.

                  "Tell us a way to get closer to them," Ivy commanded, using her powers.

                "There are rose bushes on either end of them. You can circle around the yard without them noticing you," Robin responded in a blank tone.

               "Ivy, what are you doing? He's only a child!" Harley whisper-shouted to her friend.

             "I'm sorry, but I'm doing what needs to be done," Ivy told her crush before heading over to the couple on the other side of the yard.

             When Barbara and Ivy reached the rose bushes, they noticed that Joker and Batman seemed to be leaning in for a kiss. In a panic, Ivy quickly summoned a vine that wrapped around Batman's ankle. Then, she pulled it as hard as she could, knocking over the hero. Joker bent over to help Batman, and that was when Barbara tazed him from behind. She kept herself in the shadows as much as she possibly could, making sure that Batman wouldn't instantly recognize her.

                 "Who are you? Show yourself!" Batman called. Like she had planned, Ivy stuffed Batman's face into the ground. Harley and Robin's cries could be heard on the other side of the yard.

Author's Note:

I do realize that this might've been a bit of a boring chapter, but hopefully you didn't mind too much! Anyways, it's Easter Sunday, so if you guys don't see this until later, I'll understand. Stay tuned for next chapter!