Amsterdam.

- Inside Out -

  "Wanna look at the pieces that make you who you are..."

It is hard to open up to anyone. Telling your deepest fears and secrets was never easy, no matter how much you knew the person you have been talking to. Showing them what's hiding inside of that body, that soul and that heart was never safe because people tend to hurt even those they love the most. Hence, you were a really closed up person, refusing to say anything personal unless you were asked about it, which was really hard since you were now targeted by the media. After all, you were Martin Garrix's girlfriend. No matter how hard both of you tried to keep your relationship private and hide away from the media, they still somehow found a way to dig out something about you that nobody knew, and that scared you a lot. You didn't want many things to be out in the open. 

Fans were already recognizing you and stalking you not only on social media, but whenever you were out with your friends and family, too. Martin tried to convince the pestering paparazzi and reporters to stop bothering you whenever you got the chance to go out, but of course they always had the same old excuses that "it was their job after all" and that "not getting any juicy stories doesn't make a headline". But you lived with it, you knew who you were dating since the beginning. You were aware that from the first moment you accepted to even go on a date with Martin or Martijn you would be targeted and pestered, not only by media, but the fans too. 

You knew how much the fans meant to Martijn, he loved them and owed them everything, because without them he wouldn't be able to do what he was doing, so you always agreed to take pictures or even talk a bit to the fans who would stop you on the street. But this time it was different. The situation changed. Martijn warned you about this before, and told you not to worry, but you couldn't help but feel attack and vulnerable at this situation. He told you you were going to receive some negative feedback; hate, cruel messages and maybe even threats, but you never even dreamed of it being like this. You were literally attacked on all social media, receiving dreadful comments about your looks and personality. You saw pictures of you photoshopped with other men that weren't Martijn, and you seemed very close with those men. It became too much. You couldn't take it anymore, but you didn't say a word. You never did. Whenever it came to a fight, a discussion or anything alike, you were deadly quiet and that scared Martijn. Scared him because he never knew what you were thinking and what to expect from you. Sometimes he wished he could just peek in your brain and see what you were refusing to say out loud. Nevertheless, he loved you the way you were, even though he sometimes wished you didn't keep it all inside. He hated pulling words out of you. He wished you were more open and brave, like he was. But opposites attract, right? One night he caught you crying in the bedroom over some new comments on Instagram. He panicked a bit at first; why were you crying? What happened? Did someone hurt you? Did you hurt yourself? Once again, like many times before when something happened, he had to pull out information. 

-(Y/N), what happened? - he asked worriedly.

-It's nothing, trust me. - you assured him. 

-(Y/N)... Please. I hate to see you cry, it makes me wanna cry too. 

-It's just- 

-Please, babe. Why can't you just open up to me? You know I want to help you. 

-It's not that I don't trust you, Martijn... I do. - you sighed. - But the fact is, that I'm flawed. I'm aware that we all are, but... I'm scared. 

-Scared of what? -  he lead you to talk more. 

-Scared of you leaving me. I couldn't tell you anything because I thought you would believe those people. Maybe you'll start thinking I'm ugly, fat, a gold-digger and a slut, who wouldn't after those convincing insults? - you snorted. 

-(Y/N)... That's bullshit and we both know that. Who gives a shit about what those people think? They're not even my true fans. True Garrixers would support my decisions and respect them. And loving you is my decision which I stand firmly with. 

-Really? - your eyes stopped tearing up. 

-Of course. How can you say that about yourself? Have you seen yourself? You're absolutely gorgeous. - he smiled, but still kept the seriousness on his face. - And yes, you are right, we are all flawed, and that means you too, but I love every part of you, even the flawed ones. 

-Oh, thank you. - you hugged him. - I love you too. 

-And please, next time you have a problem, don't keep it all inside, instead just talk to me. Okay?

-I'll try my best. 

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It's not my best one but I'm trying. I'm under lots of pressure because of school and other obligations so I don't have much time to write and honestly, not many ideas either. I don't want to copy any other writer here, but at the same time I don't know what to write about anymore. I can't be original at this point. But nevertheless, I hope you enjoy it. 

Lots of love. 

-Dakota.