Amsterdam.

- Drifting II -

  "...Our love has gone cold
You're intertwining your soul with somebody else ..." 

Saturday, 10:54 a.m.

It's been two weeks. Two long, excruciating, lonely weeks without you. The apartment you two shared seemed so empty and quiet without you running around in your fuzzy socks and a oversized T-shirt you stole from him, or your loud laughter whenever he chased you around, then pinned you down and tickled you. He even missed the damn romantic movies or re-runs of "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" you made him watch even though he hated it. Now, he would agree on watching a hundred episodes just to see you there, on the couch, next to him. At first he didn't know why you broke up, how could you lose the love so suddenly, like it never happened in the first place. He tried to convince himself it was just some kind of an anxiety attack or side effect of you being sad that he was gone and that you would soon come home, but the other side of him, the more rational one, told him it was over and to get used to it. 

You, on the other hand, didn't feel anything in particular. Yes, it was unusual living without him and waking up next to you, and yes you didn't want him to hate you but you were just tired of being on your own for so long. You never liked long-distance relationships and the thought of having one made you feel incomplete and sad. So you ended it. You were now staying with your best friend Chris who was by your side since day one. You always knew he had some kind of a crush on you and to be honest, you liked him too sometime before you really fell in love with Martijn, but you currently weren't in the position or mood to start something with any other boy. Not even Chris. 

-How are you feeling? - he put two large cups of steaming hot black coffee on the kitchen table. 

-Fine, I guess. Thanks for asking. 

-Are you sure? - he asked worriedly. 

-Chris, I'm not a baby. - you rolled your eyes playfully. - I'm fine, it's just that... I'm getting used to this. 

-I know, love. - he sat opposite of you and held your cold hand comfortingly. - If you need to talk about it or anything, I'm here. Okay?

-Thank you. You're so kind to me. - you squeezed his hand in a thankful and reassuring manner. For the past two weeks you refused to talk about it or even mention it and everybody was worried it would mentally destroy you. 

He winked at you, then glanced towards the stove. - Breakfast?

-Hm, I'm not that hungry. 

-Me neither. Actually, it's a warm and sunny day, wanna go for a walk? - he proposed. 

-Just let me change, I'll be downstairs in five minutes. 

***

-You were right, it is a beautiful day, after all. - you admitted while you were walking down the park. 

-Told you so. - he sat on the nearest bench after the hour long walk. - Come, sit. 

You did as he said. - You know, I think I want to talk right now. 

-About what happened? Go ahead. 

-I think I fucked up a bit. No, actually, he fucked up the relationship but I didn't even give him the chance to talk. I was all selfish, just me, me, me. - you sighed. You were finally opening up. - I know his career is serious and that he loves his job more than anything, but I was hoping he wouldn't love it more than me.