Ranting, Raging, and General Fangirliness [FIRST OF MANY BOOKS] {COMPLETED}

Yes. Yes he is. (pic above)

Leo Valdez is my spirit animal. *smiles McShizzle-y*
I am in love with him. Calypso is luckyyyyyyyy
*sigh* I need me a freak like that.
So! *claps hands* Today's rant is titled 'Beeping Sucks.'
Or maybe 'Why Do School Buses Have To Be So Loud'
Or maybe 'Why Beeping Is The Most Annoying Sound In The Universe.'
In short, It's about beeping and why it annoys me.
Ready?
Ready.

Trucks and miscellaneous construction equipment emit a piercing 'beep-beep-beep' noise when they back up. I've always assumed this sound was a response to past litigation. Insurance companies, seeking to avoid lawsuits, decided this was a defendable way to warn stupid people that a large vehicle was sneaking up on them. In other words, flattened morons can't sue a construction company if they are duly alerted by a series of shrieking beeps.
Now I should make clear, I'm totally in favor of signalling dumbasses. But what I do not support is the 'beep-beep-beeping' happening every friggen' morning at the break of friggen' dawn. Who's up to be run over that early!?
And I'll take it a step further. I think the drivers of these vehicles back up way more than necessary. I think they secretly enjoy the fact that they're waking up people for miles around. I think they think "I'm up early, so screw you, you get up too."
So anyway . . .
That's what I think. I have no solution to this situation. I just wanted these people to know that I'm on to them, and I hate them.

*takes a bow* Thank chu. I think that was the most formal rant I have ever done, like, ever.
I feel a feeling. Wtf is that?
Wait-
Tomboy: Is that what I think it is?
Me: YES IT'S PRIDE
Goth: No it's just gas.
Me: SHUT UP GOTH GET OUWTTA HEAR
Hipster: Misspelling things on purpose is so mainstream.
Me: So is pointing that out.
Hipster: What?
Me: Everybody is a hipster now. Hipsters have taken over the world. Pointing out if something is mainsteam is now mainstream.
Hipster: How did you know that but not me
Me: I am me
Hipster: No I mean me me
Me: Yes, that's my name.
Hipster: no- you're messing with me
Me: Yes I am.
Hipster: That is so- nope nope nope.
Me: In fact, talking is mainstream now too. Who knew?
Hipster: . . .
Me: O.o
Hipster :|
Me: are you . . . actually listening to me . . .
Hipster: *nods*
Me: nodding is mainstream too, y'know
Hipster: >:(
Me: Still not talking? Well, eating, sleeping, drinking, and other basic bodily needs is also mainstream.
Hipster: *signs w sign language* Really? Good to know.
Hipster: *walks off*
Tomboy: What are you doing?
Goth: Yea, what the Hades?
Me: I want to get rid of Hipster me as fast as possible I hate her.
Goth: Why not kill her?
Me: Can't. Gods take that stuff seriously, remember?
Goth: Damn.
Me: UH UH UH! it's dam.
Goth: What's the difference?
Me: WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE!?
Tomboy: Uh oh.
Me: WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE!??!!?!
Goth: Okay okay I'll leave out the n.
Me: *storms off* what's the difference? Ugh the nerve of some people . . .
Goth: Okay . . .?
Tomboy: She takes Percy Jackson references very seriously.
Goth: She left- does that mean I can poof for her?
Tomboy: sure, I guess?
Goth: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *explosion of red flames and black demonic smoke*

Heya- wattpad somehow unpublished this chapter so sorry if I somehow OFFENDED you, wattpad. Sorrrryyyyyy.