Falling Up

mood swings

I never really understood it, until it started happening to me.

Imagine a swing set, your favorite one growing up.

When I say that, all of the good memories surface from those days. Days you spent swinging away without a worry on this earth because you were so young and had your whole life ahead of you.

Just imagine the up and down motion the swing had. That exhilarating rush as your body soared higher than you thought possible and your tiny face was filled with nothing but happiness because it was fun, right? Then you came down because of gravity and, alot of the time, you thought you were going to fall and sometimes you did.

That's what its like, apart from the predictability of the swing.

You are just living some days. You got out of bed with an average amount of sleep to go on about your average day. Sometimes it takes a turn for the best and you just become so happy for no apparent reason. You wear a beaming smile that no one can take away from you and radiate this sort of contagious happiness. Those are the up times.

But, of course, there have to be the down times. The times when everything crushes you down into the dirt and its hard to breathe and its hard to function, and all you want to do is cry. There are, other types of down times, like anger or loss, but there are too many to explain.

Its like a swing because you're just swinging in the balance, waiting for something to happen.

But its so unpredictable. Sometimes you're just sad. When someone asks you why you're sad, you can't really explain it because you dont even know why yourself.

I know people will tell me shit.

"Its just your period."

Everything is my period isnt it? I start crying and one of the first questions I get is "you're on your period arent you?"

No.

Its not my period.

Its a constant swing of emotions that never stops, and I cant even explain when you ask about it.

Its like when parents ask you how in the world you can stay on that swing so long.

You dont really know, you just do.

Maybe that's why its called mood swings.

I actually hate this, but eh