Falling Up

you (part 2 apparently)

There are so many things I dont like about me.

I dont like how easily I stress and freak out over simple situations with even simpler solutions.

I dont like how I bottle everything up inside and then refuse to allow myself to tell you whats wrong because I feel like im annoying you.

I dont like how easily nervous I get and how easily it shows. My palms get disgustingly sweaty and when asked, I rush to make up excuses instead of telling you that im just nervous to be around you.

I dont like how nervous I actually get around you. I ramble on and on and on until I realize that the past 10 minutes has been nothing but me throwing up words that make zero sense.

I dont like how uncomfortable I feel all the time except around a select group of people. Because around these people I have to be quiet and calm because im distracting. And around these people I cant talk because no one wants to listen to me. But around those very few, I seem to talk until I run out of oxygen and have to take a moment to breathe.

I dont like how easily I cry over miniscule problems that wouldn't be too emotionally challenging to most.

I dont like how I forget to breathe when im around you. I literally go dumb and forget that oxygen is my friend because I get so caught up in the millions of other thoughts invading my head space.

I kinda like, though, how little of an attention span I have. Because I keep saying to myself "I need a sign to show me that im doing the right thing."

And then I get one. I didnt even sit down to write about you...

There may be some more chapters titled 'you' in the future because I have zero creativity.