Falling Up

what can i do

You said you still saw these. You said you still read them.

This is the first night in a very long time that ive cried about you.

Youve haunted my dreams and latched on to my headspace again and its been so long that i dont remember how i shook you off before. Time is not on my side, it refuses to assist me with this healing process and im beginning to think that it enjoys watching me squirm.

But what can i do?

I dont think i have the strength right now to cut you out again. I dont think i have the courage to endure that pain.

Did you plan for this to happen? Did you want me to fall for you again? Did it hurt to see that i was moving on?..

I do not want to be mean anymore. Im so sick and tired of walls reinforced with hate. But the way you wear the shirts that i used to hurts more than anything, the way youve started wearing that perfume again hurts, the way you replaced me with him again hurts.

The way you preached about second times that last night, and went back to him for the third within the week hurt.

The way my body had no support to fall back onto except words of betrayal hurt.

But what can i do?