Falling Up

bad apples

You talk about relationships like they are a bad bite out of an apple. You recall the bitterness of that bite, and refuse to acknowledge the fact that the rest of the apple is just as sweet as promised before. Except, thats not really how you look at things. You bite into a bad apple over and over, but you bit into a good one and made it bad.

You talk about relationships like they are useless to try again, except you tried again with everyone except me. Why is everyone else the exception to your rules except me? What have I done to you in the past that completley eliminates me from ever loving you again?

How have I wronged you so much that he is a better option than me? What have I done that makes toxicity look so sweet? Was I really that bitter, that the taste of me on your tounge made you refuse to ever let me grace you in that way again?

It hurts to believe that you love the taste of toxicity, but that is the only explanation that I can think of. You bathe in insults and insecurity because it seems that they are all you know. You crave a violent touch that only leaves you with battle scars from a war you didn't win, you hunger for the taste of hate that you mask with love, you thirst for hurt like it is your final life string, but you dont lust for something more.

You want bad apples.