Falling Up

closed

Maybe if i close my eyes tight enough, patterns will form behind my eyelids and they will reveal how to deal with what is happening. The flashes of light will make shapes that point me in the direction i belong in, and they will slow time to a crawl so i can grab onto jutting rocks to slow my descent.

Maybe if i squeeze them closed, i wont have to witness what is happening before me, and i wont have to watch as my happiness stands on two legs and walks with another.

I hope to stare into the depths of dark and trace the wisps of light instead of concentrating on how often i realize that joy is tiptoeing away from me like a guilty child. I wish to be able to forget about who has left me and about who my replacement has become. I wish to erase the memories of lips on mine and hands on skin because i feel as if someone would be more vibrant if i happened to be without those ghost touches.

I wish to dance in the blind darkness of sealed eyelids and bask in the starlit galaxy hiding behind my own dark eyes. I wish to run my fingers across nothing in order to erase how they felt intertwined with someone else's and i hope to bathe my skin in lonliness to convince it that it doesnt need to be wrapped in other flesh.

Maybe if i close my eyes tight enough, someone will come home.