Confused » Jelsa AU

2

Elsa Winters

She pulled me through the bushes, making room for me to follow her into the forest. We walked for awhile, the only light source being the night sky filled with twinkling stars and the moon.

My feet felt like they were burning and then we reached a clearing. It looked magical, tall knee length grass, a large pond and giant rocks.

I took a cigarette stick from the pack but before I could light it up, she flicked it away while I stood there a little bit annoyed. She just really hates smoking, that's why.

I sighed, tilting my head and observed her. Her hair is braided and a flower crown on her head. A mischievous smirk on her pretty face.

She kept on looking at the pond and back to my direction. And before I could realize what she really meant, she jumped into the water, pulling me in.

It was murky and rough at first but once we settled down, everything became calm and clear. We made eye contact, her long platinum blonde hair framed her pretty face as her eyes gleamed in joy.

I swam to her and held both of her narrow shoulders, staring on her tantalizing eyes. She tore her shirt off and her shorts, throwing them aside before pressing her lips against mine.

Our hearts beat synchronously, feeling every single moment--

But I had ruined it all.

I am the cause of this mess, of this chaos that I had made.

If I only hadn't took the last cigarette from its box and lighted it up, I'll still hear the giggles that escape from her lips and hug her from behind will inhaling her usual strawberry cologne.

If I had listened to her when she told me to stop, she'll still be here beside me, telling me all her incredible made up fictional stories.

If I had refrained myself from strangling her, she'll still be here, her lips pressed against mine, letting me know how much she loves me.

But no!

I am too selfish, too self-absorbed to think about the consequences of my foolish and unreasonable actions.

It's all my fault.

I am the one to blame, not her but me.

The tears of guilt mixed with pain rolled down my cheeks whilst I buried my face on my scarred and calloused palms, knowing that people are walking down the busy streets and I am scared that they would judge me, judge who I am and what I have done.

People used to say this same statement: "Crying won't get you anywhere."

But I refused to believe that.

To me, crying is the way I could pour all the pain and remorse into tiny droplets that comes out from my eyes. And when I did that, I could no longer feel anything but the coldness of the damp ground.

Yet, when I could see a glimpse of something that reminds me of her, the agony comes back again and devours me.

So, I cry for the hundredth time, just to feel numb again yet no matter how many tears I shed, the pain would never leave because as long as I am still alive, the pain will always be there, haunting me with the memories of us togeth--

"As much as I would like to throw my garbage on MY garbage bin, I couldn't because you're blocking my way to the garbage bin, plus, I am a well-educated person and I don't like to accidentally splatter you with my garbage because that would be very rude and offensive. I don't want to offend someon-- shit! You're crying aren't you?"

I froze.

Someone lives behind this bricked walls of the haunted warehouse?

Oh my Batman, I am definitely sure that I'll be sued by this man with trespassing but I thought the people had deserted the place a week ago.

I blinked, taking a deep breath before I wiped my tears.

Nevermind getting sued, he actually heard me cry! Gosh, I know he's judging me at this point, and he's probably thinking how worthless I am.

"Are you alright?" I heard the person ask as I felt his gaze burning on my skin. It's indeed uncomfortable, uncomfortable as fuck. I had lost the urge to cry, I'm now covered with embarrassment and shame.

"Hey, you're still alive, aren't you?" He asked with a tinge of humor in his tone.

"N-nope, I'm not." I responded while I silently wished that he would just scoot away, find another trash bin and throw it away.

"The dead speaks now, what a surprise!" He exclaimed. "Look, there's one request that I want you to do."

"That is?" I asked, not even bothering to lift up my head to meet his gaze.

"That is, you'll move out of my way because you're moping there which is preventing me from throwing my trash." He said making me scoff.

I thought he's a nice lovely guy who lives in a neighborhood full of fucktards but he's actually one of them.

Left with no choice, I pulled my hoodie up before I carefully stood up. I could still feel his gaze on mine which was a lot uncomfortable that earlier, so, I kept my gaze down and started to walk away from him and into the busy streets.

But where am I supposed to live?

"Hey, I know you're homeless and all. You're welcome to live on my flat on the next block."

I smirked.

"Names Jack, if you're wondering."

He's not that bad after all.

************

Hey guys!

School(hell) and my other stories had kept me away from updating this. Anyways, Im glad that i actually came up with the final concept for this story!

I hope you enjoyed this chapter even though elsa's quite the crybaby here.

Love yall!

-diannedanica