Klance
Myth AU!
Vampires
Werewolves
Witches
Wards
Hope you came prepared
In all of Lance's years... How has he never once considered the question he's just heard at a Starbucks at eight-thirty on a Saturday morning?
It was a simple question.
So how, in Lance's nine-hundred-ninety-one years, had he never thought of it?
By being a vampire, you hear a lot of things, think of everything, learn something new less and less. In being a vampire, you have to know everything about everywhere. You have to.
How had this one thing never come to mind?
As a vampire, he should know, shouldn't he?
Vampires aren't everything human's think they'd be, and they're definitely nothing like Twilight. Ew. Thank God.
They do have issues with direct sunlight, but witches have helped with that, kind of like the witches from Vampire Diaries. Same with compelling people to forget something or just to do what the vampire says. They aren't dead, they're alive, but they need blood to stay that way. Their blood flows in them, and need either witch blood, specific animal blood, and a ward's blood. Also, not being able to see yourself in a mirror? Or in a picture? Lance would have been caught ages ago when trying to check himself out in a mirror or when taking selfies.
Ward's are difficult to come by and difficult to keep now-days in the twenty-first century. Ward's have specific, sweet blood meant for Vampires. They used to be bred for Vampires, but it's kinda... Not legal to do that now.
Vampires don't have anything against Garlic- in fact, Lance loves it. Wooden stakes to the heart- who the fuck wouldn't that kill? The crosses- who the hell came up with that? Lance wears one around his neck.
Also, Vampires aren't mindless creatures that'd drain your blood in seconds. Not very many vampires are bad. They don't even drink human blood unless it's from a ward or a witch. They can eat human food, but it doesn't last long at all.
But, a ward hasn't been seen in decades. Most were killed in the world wars with little to no offspring.
Even though with all of this, how had that single question asked by High School Juniors never came to Lance in all of his years.
"Do you think guy Vampires can get STD's?"
The 'even though their penis doesn't technically work because they're dead' didn't register to Lance because he was so stuck on the first part of that question. Can Vampires get STD's? Lance was sure he didn't have it, but what if he could get it?
Lance had to stop himself from gripping his cuppaccino too tightly. He gulped and shook his head, then practically dumped the rest of his drink down his own throat.
"I mean, if their dicks could work, they could. I don't see why not."
"What about the female Vampires?"
"Same with them. If their vaginas work, they can get STD's."
The other hummed. "Yeah. Guess so."
